F*ck Up Friday – Mindlessness.

Friends! I’ve done a thing!

I was feeling most proud of myself the other day because I was busy. Busy, busy.busy. Getting all my tasks done for once! Go me!

I’d even taken a cloth and my spray bottle of water and bleach and given the clothes line a wipe, a small chore I wouldn’t have done until after I’d given my clean clothes dirt strips the first time.

I WAS ON FIRE! Puttering here, puttering there, spraying BLEACH WATER IN MY HAIR!

I have a spray bottle of regular water that I use to refresh my crazy day two hair with. It was sitting on the kitchen counter-because I also use it to refresh wrinkled clothes before I pop them in the dryer. – Welp. My bottle of bleach and water was also sitting on the kitchen counter and I mindlessly grabbed it instead!

I didn’t notice I was spraying bleach on my chemically streaked hair until I set it down beside me on the tub edge so I could really work the “water” in.

I noticed the clean smell…but never made the connection until my eyes took in the bottle.

Fuuuuuuuuuuck!!!

Behold the two bottles:

It was all OK, I was able to rinse it out right away and the Hubs says my hair is still gray, not green but still. This was a pretty awesome fuck up, if I do say so myself.

Have you had any epic screws up lately? Please share!

February Sh*T List

Every month I get the negative nonsense out of my head by compiling a Shit List. It’s great fun!

February has been pretty mild. Until I walked 5 mins after the fact into the middle of an unsecured crime scene/police SHOOTING, complete with cops walking around in a daze, ha.

Me to Cop One ” Uhhh, is it safe for me to be walking around the neighbourhood right now?”

Cop One ” No”

Alrighty then.

Here is my Shit List!

1. The Asshat who slipped a religious pamphlet into the box of yogurt I brought home from the grocery store. It’s bad enough religious assaults are inescapable in the day to day -especially in this province- but do you really have to molest me with your nonsense in the grocery store? Do you? And do you really think THAT is going to be THE THING that converts me ? It’s not. Here is a piece of advice from me to you: Stop wasting your time trying to “save” me and spend that time living your life as a shining example of love, respect and acceptance for all. Trust me, this will have a far greater impact on the world than your fire and brimstone bullshit ever will.

2. The cold temperatures!

I can handle the snow. I can even handle the ice because it means the temps are warm (ish) and things are moving towards the big melt. What I am DAMN tired of is the cold. Minus eleventy something degrees Celsius ? I’ve had enough of you! Get out of here. It’s warmed up slightly now but I know how this works…and I’m ever wary. Go away! The Spring sky doesn’t match the snow or the cold and its messing with my head.

3. Myself, for not realizing that if read down too far on the wiki page of a certain show I watch I may come across spoilers! Boooo!

4. Meth. Meth is the one of the reasons for the major crime surge in my neighbourhood. Last week, I walked into the aftermath of a police shooting! This was after the second violent car jacking of the day in my neighbourhood, to be followed by the whirlybird/dog take down of another car thief. All within a 3 mile radius. Then! Then! Then! The very next day, two kids got shanked at the mall 5 km away. My trauma injury is having a time. I am ready to GO OFF.

And there you have it! Not too bad for a whole month! I mean, the violence is bad enough for the month but if you take that out…this was a great month!

How about you? Who or what is on your Shit List?

Love to Love! – Extras

I don’t know what happened, was it the moon? Something in the water? It’s a great and wonderous mystery to me but I’ll take it because it made my week a delight!

Hubs and I picked up Popeyes for lunch last Friday as our Valentine’s present to one another and while the bag felt extra heavy, I thought nothing of it. It was probably Hub’s gigantic 4 piece meal.

Nope! I’d asked for a three piece tenders meal and received this instead:

Six pieces in total! Woot woot! Plus, a ton of smaller bits and bobs that probably added up to make 2 more pieces. Chicken tender jackpot, ha! I ended up saving the extra for lunch the next day. What a treat!

Then!

A few days later we went to Tim Horton’s to grab a coffee and Hubs asked for my usual – large mocha- and this is what they gifted me instead:

An extra large mocha, ha!

It was well made too, more chocolate than coffee. Just how I like it. I felt a bit ridiculous drinking that giant thing but I managed just fine.

Its the little things that bring me joy. ❤

Love to Love!- Marriage Meme

How we met- He was a regular at the restaurant I worked at. I never got his order right because he always asked for onion rings instead of fries and specified “no tomato”. Who does that!? We still argue about that to this day, heh.

First date – We met up at the local skeevey bar and I was the aggressor. He was on my “list” and I was checking him off.

Age difference – One year, nine months and twenty one days. I’m the younger.

Funniest – We both have our moments. I could not live a life without laughter.

Loudest – Generally…me. But Hubs has the “Dad voice” that I just don’t have.

Most stubborn – We’re pretty even in this regard…thankfully, ha ha.

Falls asleep first – Me, because I go to bed at old lady time. Hubs, if we go to bed together… unfortunately… because then he snores and I have to listen to it!

Cooks better – Moi! But Hubs pays more attention to the fine details when he cooks so his food is prettier.

Most social – Meeeeeee! Not that I’m overly social. Hubs is pretty anti- social. Not that I blame him. I’m getting there.

Better morning person – Moi! I wake up early, even when I don’t have to. I cannot stand laying about in bed.

Best driver – Hubs. He is a professional after all…

Best dancer – Me but I’m not a dancer. Unless copious amounts of alcohol are consumed.

Best singer – Meeeeee. I’ve lost a tone in my left ear now though so that may not hold true!

His secret talent – Attention to fine detail. Persevering with fiddley projects that I’d have given up on long before.

My secret talent – Able to defuse tense situations intuitively/easily with humour and/or empathy.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Play along in the comments, if you are so inclined! ❤

Monday Ramble, I’m Really Not This Rude, Dogs & Friends.

Happy Monday! Happy February!

Just seven more weeks until Spring- Woot Woot!- Last year, I went out for the first time without a jacket on March 18…will I be that lucky this year? Who knows! But I’m ever hopeful and that hope is what keeps me smiling in these last months of Spring. Every Albertan knows this: the calendar may say its Spring but Mother Nature has her own agenda.

Ha Ha! Maybe don’t but this still made me laugh. Especially seeing as people have been raining on my various parades.

And as a companion piece:

How do you think you’d do in prison? I think I’d do OK. I mean it wouldn’t be my first choice and I do everything I can in the everyday to avoid it but…yeah, I’m pretty adaptable.

The thought of this makes me laugh. I don’t hang out with too many people who’d require such a card and I’d certainly never send one- so mean! – but sometimes…The people. They are trying.

And just so you don’t think I’m a total asshole :

Teehee! My Rotti X had feet like that ❤ I hope she’s somewhere nice enjoying life like this. I don’t believe in heaven for myself but you bet your butt I do for my pets 🙂

And speaking of friends:

Oh! Don’t you just love this? My heart ❤ ❤ ❤

I’m excited for another month. I’m excited for Valentine’s Day. I’m excited/sad for Carolyn’s birthday. I’m excited for Ov’s birthday. I’m excited for my very first alone time visit with Via. I’m excited for the high sun and melting snow. Here’s to a lovely February. May yours treat you kindly and may you find joy in unexpected places ❤

F*ck Up Friday – Caught Ya!

Today’s F up, isn’t mine for once!

Let’s pause to celebrate this!

Photo by Rakicevic Nenad on Pexels.com

If this was my job, the sign would read – It’s Been One Day Without A Work Place Accident

With all the recent crime in the neighbourhood I’ve been half excepting to come home and find some crook either climbing my locked gate or coming out of my locked yard. I fantasize about what I’d do- whip out my phone, take their photo, call the 5-0 – and what I’d do to them – Create a huge noisy ruckus and chase them away! OR, detain them (expertly, of course) until the cops arrive – It’s all great fun to imagine WHAT IF and it’s my favourite fantasy of the moment, because I am always the hero, ha.

Photo by Porapak Apichodilok on Pexels.com

The hilarious thing is this JUST HAPPENED, only not exactly the way I’d imagined.

I’m trip tropping down the walk, home from a lovely meet up with two very lovely humans and what do I see as I approach my home? The mail carrier on the far side of my yard, hopping the fence!

(Most ackwardly too. It was quite the task for him. )

Whaaaaat? I think to myself, more curious than anything else. I know right away he’s not there to rob me, that wouldn’t smart of him, especially as he’s in uniform and I see him every day! So I continue on to my door and there he is, holding a package. Caught and flustered, ha!

“Did you make a mistake?” I ask. “Yep!” he replies. It seems he tossed the package over the fence onto my porch, realized he’d delivered it to the wrong house and then couldn’t get the package back because of my HIGH SECURITY SYSTEM:

Photo by eyeball3000 on Pexels.com

” I knocked on your window” he continues on ” But obviously you weren’t home. SO I hopped the fence. Got the dogs barking. I’m sorry! My name’s redacted to protect the honest and awkward. I’m your new carrier. I’m just learning the route!”

Ohh man, did I feel bad for him! We chatted for a bit, he thanked me for my understanding and we had a good laugh about it all. Although, I know the dude is probably just cringing inside, ha ha ha.

I got a huge kick out the whole thing and I’m grateful that while my fantasy kind of came true, it came true in a much more positive way! And I still got to be the hero! ❤

Have you made any mistakes this week? We all have our squirmy moments, I’m sure! Share them, in the interest of comradery and casting light onto shadows!