F*ck Up Friday – Mindlessness.

Friends! I’ve done a thing!

I was feeling most proud of myself the other day because I was busy. Busy, busy.busy. Getting all my tasks done for once! Go me!

I’d even taken a cloth and my spray bottle of water and bleach and given the clothes line a wipe, a small chore I wouldn’t have done until after I’d given my clean clothes dirt strips the first time.

I WAS ON FIRE! Puttering here, puttering there, spraying BLEACH WATER IN MY HAIR!

I have a spray bottle of regular water that I use to refresh my crazy day two hair with. It was sitting on the kitchen counter-because I also use it to refresh wrinkled clothes before I pop them in the dryer. – Welp. My bottle of bleach and water was also sitting on the kitchen counter and I mindlessly grabbed it instead!

I didn’t notice I was spraying bleach on my chemically streaked hair until I set it down beside me on the tub edge so I could really work the “water” in.

I noticed the clean smell…but never made the connection until my eyes took in the bottle.

Fuuuuuuuuuuck!!!

Behold the two bottles:

It was all OK, I was able to rinse it out right away and the Hubs says my hair is still gray, not green but still. This was a pretty awesome fuck up, if I do say so myself.

Have you had any epic screws up lately? Please share!

F*ck Up Friday – Caught Ya!

Today’s F up, isn’t mine for once!

Let’s pause to celebrate this!

Photo by Rakicevic Nenad on Pexels.com

If this was my job, the sign would read – It’s Been One Day Without A Work Place Accident

With all the recent crime in the neighbourhood I’ve been half excepting to come home and find some crook either climbing my locked gate or coming out of my locked yard. I fantasize about what I’d do- whip out my phone, take their photo, call the 5-0 – and what I’d do to them – Create a huge noisy ruckus and chase them away! OR, detain them (expertly, of course) until the cops arrive – It’s all great fun to imagine WHAT IF and it’s my favourite fantasy of the moment, because I am always the hero, ha.

Photo by Porapak Apichodilok on Pexels.com

The hilarious thing is this JUST HAPPENED, only not exactly the way I’d imagined.

I’m trip tropping down the walk, home from a lovely meet up with two very lovely humans and what do I see as I approach my home? The mail carrier on the far side of my yard, hopping the fence!

(Most ackwardly too. It was quite the task for him. )

Whaaaaat? I think to myself, more curious than anything else. I know right away he’s not there to rob me, that wouldn’t smart of him, especially as he’s in uniform and I see him every day! So I continue on to my door and there he is, holding a package. Caught and flustered, ha!

“Did you make a mistake?” I ask. “Yep!” he replies. It seems he tossed the package over the fence onto my porch, realized he’d delivered it to the wrong house and then couldn’t get the package back because of my HIGH SECURITY SYSTEM:

Photo by eyeball3000 on Pexels.com

” I knocked on your window” he continues on ” But obviously you weren’t home. SO I hopped the fence. Got the dogs barking. I’m sorry! My name’s redacted to protect the honest and awkward. I’m your new carrier. I’m just learning the route!”

Ohh man, did I feel bad for him! We chatted for a bit, he thanked me for my understanding and we had a good laugh about it all. Although, I know the dude is probably just cringing inside, ha ha ha.

I got a huge kick out the whole thing and I’m grateful that while my fantasy kind of came true, it came true in a much more positive way! And I still got to be the hero! ❤

Have you made any mistakes this week? We all have our squirmy moments, I’m sure! Share them, in the interest of comradery and casting light onto shadows!

F*ck Up Friday- Just Come On In!

Heading out to the library one day last week, I found myself in a bit of a pickle.I couldn’t find my keys!

I hadn’t been out of the house for two days and I need them to get into the yard, never mind my dwelling, so I knew they were at least safe. I just had to find them!

I’d probably set them down someplace when I was reorganizing my key chain. No biggie! They’d turn up eventually.

I grabbed an extra set I’d tucked way for exactly this occasion and headed out the door.

Well.

Remember how I had mentioned that my neighbourhood was experiencing an increase in crime?

Remember last month how some jerks broke into my neighbour’s house, in broad daylight?

Remember how this encouraged me to up my home security and put in new locks and reinforce my doors?

Remember how I felt safe (And SO SMUG!),secure and satisfied every time I turned my key in the lock or slid the deadbolts home? Nobody’s getting in to my house.

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!

That only works if one is not a dumb ass.

On my return trip home from the library, I let myself back into the yard and immediately found my lost keys.

They’d been OUTSIDE, for TWO DAYS ( and NIGHTS ), sitting in plain sight.

I guess I’d left them out there on Sunday when I’d been picking rosehips. Not only had I left my keys outside, my husband had walked past them twice on his way in from work and not seen them either.

Le sigh.

I am buying one of those long, reely key chain thingys and a carbineer and I’m going to attach the whole get up to my bra strap so I never leave them out there again! (This is not my first offense, sadly)

On the plus side, this incident is truly an indication of something I’ve always suspected- I have the BEST LUCK. Seriously. I must have been born with horseshoes up my bum…

Have you had a major fuck up lately? Please share!

F*ck Up Friday – Pea Shoot Smoothie.

Happy Friday!

Here’s a short but gross tip for you today…

A person might think pea shoots would taste AWESOME in a smoothie.

That person would be wrong. Pea shoots in a smoothie would be a mistake!

Why?

Well, pea shoots in a smoothie taste exactly like opening up a can of the cheapest store brand peas, cooking them in their can liquor for an hour and then whizzing them up with a banana and yogurt.

DIS-GUST-ING!

As gross in looks as it is in taste. Baby food is thy name.

So yeah…maybe don’t do that.

Love and squishy hugs!

F*ck Up Friday- Losing The Pause.

We haven’t had a Fuck Up Friday in awhile!

I’m just so perfect and never make mistakes I guess.

“snicker”

That’s a lie if there ever was one!

I have most definitely made mistakes, I just haven’t been too, too worried about them, which my friends is progress!

But I did fuck up recently, and I do think I should share because it could potentially help someone else.

When I was working at my very stressful job and living my very stressful life, I was meditating two times a day PLUS doing walking meditation for 50 mins every week day.

It barely made a dent in my anxiety but it gave me “the pause” . That space between feeling and thought. Thought and speech. Thought and action. It gave me a safe place, a second at a time to gather myself and realize that I was OK. That I was doing OK and that I was resilient and brave and all the rest.

Life improved. I quit that job. And I started slacking off. At first I’d miss a day of meditation. Then a few days. Then weeks. Then whole months would pass with no formal practice.

Sure, I was still practicing my checkins and doing my mantras and I’ve always used walks as meditiation. But it seems those thing were not enough!

I’ve recently noticed how quick I am to anger! Over little stupid things! I’m starting to get pretty vocal about it too…ranty. Which is fine for things like human rights and environmental issues and politics…but maybe not ok for Vagisil commercials… ha ha ha.

I have made a mistake! I lost my pause when I lost my meditation practice!

I have fucked up!

Having said that, I am grateful! Why? Because I was still a half assed meditator back when I was consistent. Sure, I did it A LOT but I did it out of need and desperation as opposed to knowledge and appreciation. Now I know for myself. I have first hand knowledge and experience behind me telling me WHY it’s important to have a consistent practice. I know the value of it and you can bet your booty, I wont be so lax with it in the future.

I might even buy one of those pillow things and do it properly, ha!

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Sooooo, if you have a practice…and you think it’s not working or you think it’s boring, or you think it’s OK to miss “just one day” please think of me ranting about feminine “hygiene” products and reconsider. You might not be able to see the full scope of all the positive benefits but they are there!

Did you have any major f*ck ups this week? This is a safe place to share them if you have!

F*ck Up Friday- Art

It’s been a while since I’ve made a major faux pas. My streak of good luck is over though, and now I have to leave the internet.

A lady I am friendly with, posted two paintings on a social media site, saying she wasn’t able to paint as good as this certain artist but she’d had a lot of fun trying to. I wasn’t aware of this particular artist but thought she’d made a good try and wanted to celebrate that. So in that spirit I commented.

Both pieces looked so simple and amateurish, so naturally I thought both pieces were her own attempts.

Ha Ha Ha!

That is where it all went horribly wrong. The piece I complimented as being “especially nice” not done by her at all but by the very artist she was trying to emulate. She’d put them both up side by side to compare and I had no clue, lol.

The lady set me straight, kindly, but still. I feel like a fool and now I have to delete ALL my accounts and leave the internet!

Oy!

If you need me, I’ll be under this rock over here.

All silliness aside, I am human. I can only operate my life with the information that I have. After the initial horror of my mistake wore off, I was able to laugh about my gaff and be kind to myself too. This isn’t the worst thing I’ve ever done, nobody died, my intentions were good and I’ve learned, yet again, that I won’t die from embarrassment. Even if it feels like it. Another thing, talking about mistakes makes me see them as they really are and takes away a lot of the cringe factor. So thanks for listening!

How has your week been? Have any embarrassing moments?

F*ck Up Friday * Should Have Ordered Take Out.

Happy Friday!

If you’re new here, Fuck Up Friday was born out of a need to cringe less and love myself more. Instead of being ashamed and afraid of my screw ups and mistakes, I thought it’d be fun to share them, with you. and encourage you to share with me so that we could all see that mistakes are a part of life. Sometimes they can even be funny and most likely, you, me, WE are not alone.

High on my Pickle Pizza success, I thought I’d whip up my own half-assed version of a Margherita pizza. I was SURE it was going to be amazing!

I smeared on the oil and pressed the garlic. I sliced the mozzarella and hand squished my garden fresh tomatoes. I took a photo:

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And then I popped it under the broiler and, went and did my hair.

Friends! You’re intelligent humans. You know what happens next!

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Behold. A Photographic F*ck Up!

ARG! I was so mad and yet not surprised because this is what happens when you leave stuff under the broiler. So, I cut it into slices, rolled em up and ate it anyway. It didn’t taste too bad, if you didn’t have to look it…

Have you had any cooking Oops this week? Any other mistakes? Do share, so I feel less lame! Kthanxbye!