Sh*T List May 2020

I know I sound like a broken record when I say this but I’m saying it anyway: Where did May go? How is it possible for time to just zoom by like this?

May Shit List

  • Relativity.
  • Opioids and the doctors that prescribe them to children in a care free, willy nilly way. ( This is how my 19 year old nephew died )
  • My shoulder which seems to be permanently disabled.
  • Myself, for losing the power cord to a very expensive camera!
  • This worm for crawling right in my path, trapping me in the car.
  • Allergies.
  • The person who assaulted this 84 year old woman out watering her lawn. There’s video footage of the douche bag. Check it out, see if you know him then report his ass.
  • Any weather from the North that continues to INSIST UPON ITSELF in May. Go on, get out of here! Don’t come back until December.

Aaaannnnd, I think that’s it!

Not too bad for an entire month. I’m finding this practice therapeutic and positive. I know! Doesn’t that seem counter intuitive? Seeing things that make me mad, in print, takes away their power and clears a path for other things. Like grief and humour. Like acceptance and resiliency.

How was your month in this regard? What is making you mad these days?!

April 2020 Sh*T List.

Can you believe we’re already nearing the end of April? Shocking!

It hasn’t been the worst month, pandemic aside but still, I’ve got some things on the ole shit list. Some pretty bad things too.

* If you’re new here, read about my Shit Lists HERE.

T.S Elliot was right, for different reasons.

“April is the cruelest month, breeding
lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
memory and desire, stirring
dull roots with spring rain.”

Here are mine:

1. My Uterus. It has an agenda of its own and that agenda is to make me suffer. Sure the IUD has slowed the constant bleeding but everything else remains exactly the same. I’m >thisclose< to performing a home hysterectomy.

2. The person who was quick to remind and caution me, most pointedly, that my son- who has struggled with addiction- was once also a sparkly eyed curious little boy, when I was describing my grandchild as such. Like what does that even mean?! And what exactly was your intention? And how stupid are you? DO you really think all sparkly eyed curious boys grow up to become drug addicts? What exactly were you warning me against? And what did you expect me to do with said warning? Stop loving my babies? I’m perplexed…oh and also:

Now obviously I should be posing my questions to said person but I was shocked out of my gourd. Stunned. This is a person who is supposed to be a close friend. Anyway, this was a great reminder to watch my own mouth and be careful what I say and to remember that people say stupid shit all the time and may not mean anything cruel by it…but still, I am allowed to be angry and therefore…onto the shit list it goes!

3. The employee of my husband’s who came in to work SICK! It’s been 14 + days and we’re still ok so phew! Social distancing works. It was scary there for a little while though. Every sneeze and sniffle, every cough and tickle edged up the anxiety.

4. Whatever it was that killed my nephew in March. He wasn’t even 22. I dont know how he died – I’m no contact with my first family under the guidance of mental health professionals.- but it was described as sudden and senseless. What an awful, awful thing.

5. The 8mm mass in my daughter in law’s BRAIN, that is not only messing up her life but which also comes with some very scary risks for removal. This girl isn’t even 30 and she’s already had to deal with so much in her life. She takes superb care of my granddaughter and she’s sweet and loving and fun. I know life isn’t fair and nobody deserves this shit but still, I’m gonna say it- She’s been through more than her fair share already.

6. People not skilled in listening and/or reading comprehension who just LOVE to shoot their mouth off. Stop. Slow down. Pay attention and then respond. I know we all do this sometimes. I do it! And I cringe every.single.time I realize my mistake, ha! I’m talking about the people who are not so self aware and regularly “communicate” this way.

7. My little pup who is coyote bait but insists upon being outside constantly now that the weather is warm. In and out. In and out. Guess who else gets to go in and out? In and out? Yeah…me. And it’s not like she does anything important while we’re out there! No pees, no poos. She barks at random things…eats grass…chases bugs. All the while I stand there supervising. She is driving me crazy and I think we’re going to have to build a higher fence just for her.

She’s “guarding” the cookie behind her. This is a dog who barks and growls at Bison like she even stands a chance so maybe the coyotes should be scared of her!

Alrighty! That felt good! I got the shitty things out of my head and I’m ready to move on toward the good. Here’s something to ponder in the meantime:

Ha! Right?!

What would you put on your Shit List?

L is for *Lists(4) A-Z Challenge.

Everyone should keep a list of all the little things they love.https://laelheart.ca/2018/08/08/everyone-should-keep-a-list/

  1. Sunny days.
  2. Mist in the trees.
  3. Wee tiny mice.
  4. Purry cats.
  5. Happy dogs.
  6. Crawling babies.
  7. Sassy 4 year olds.
  8. Salty ham.
  9. Asparagus.
  10. Slip on shoes.
  11. Peace of mind.
  12. People laughing with no malice.
  13. Orange cats.
  14. Dogs that look like coyotes.
  15. Warm feet.
  16. Clipped toenails.
  17. Hot Cross Buns.
  18. Returning into a warm house from the cold.
  19. Sparkles.
  20. Those short periods of time when one has all their shit together.
  21. A big pile of books.
  22. Painted fingernails.
  23. Comfort in self.
  24. Magpies.
  25. A plush blanket that doesn’t smell like dog.

What would you include on your list?

CANDY!- Jolly Rancher Juicy Fruit Explosion.

The older I get, the more I like candy.

I have no clue where this comes from. Maybe I’m regressing? 

Finally working up the courage to stick it to my childhood dentist? ( My uncle who was also a sadist ) 

Who knows.

Who cares! 

CANDY!

I found these yummy little buggers at my local dollar store:

I ate half the bag on my walk home – Jolly Rancher having the distinct honour of being the only brand who makes a watermelon I can stomach- and am here to say ” These babies are delicious!”

They come in three flavours: watermelon, green apple and cherry. I liked them all equally, each one being distinct and vibrant with flavour. Also, there is juicy goodness that squishes out, inside. Yum!

Now go get yourself some candy. It doesn’t have to be this kind. I don’t work for these people, get any kind you want! Just go out there and enjoy something sweet, just because. 

What candy are you crushing on lately?

Best of November.

Happy December!

I used to have a cat named December. We found her in December so of course that was her name.

She was a total ass. She regularly terrorized my older cat even though he was 25 lbs of  ‘Wegie and she was just this slight, skinny black and white creature.

When you looked into her eyes it was like she had no soul. Seriously. I know that’s a weird thing to say but that’s how we all felt.

I once brought a stray kitten into the house before finding its owner and this kitten read December like a book. It was fine with Corny and Spider. They even trilled at each other a few times. As soon as it saw ‘Cem, it broke out hissing and spitting, fighting in my arms to be let down and out of the house.

She was something else…she could be sweet too. To humans. She was tiny but if she lay on you, she had this way of stretching herself out so that she was this long ribbon of cat. She liked to ride on shoulders too…

She died young of kidney failure and hers was the first “pure” animal death I was a part of. There was no guilt or questions. It was all so clear. She was suffering, I couldn’t see her suffer and so she didn’t. I grieved for her but it was a sweet sadness, a balm for my soul. I knew I’d done right by her, in life, illness and death. 

Ha! So now that you’ll all been educated about my cat: Are you excited for December?! I am. This is our last month of 2018. I’m excited about the holidays -Solstice and Jolabokaflod in particular- and a fresh new year. 

Let’s say goodbye to November 🙂 

Best… Holiday Cheer! I’m not a Christmas person but I’ve read so many news articles these days about how people who decorate for the holidays early are happier than those who don’t. I’m all about being happy so:

Witchy “Wreath”

Slightly Cockeyed Ikea Vinter Lamp
Bringing the outside in … and adding some sparkle!

Best Selfie:

Miss Sassafras is very adept with technology. When we had her over for a visit the first thing she did was grab my phone and start taking photos. She insisted on this one and I don’t know whether or not to be impressed or horrified about the whole thing.

Best dinner out:

My man and I have taken to going out for appetizers every few weeks. Most places have a “Happy Hour” during the week so it can even be economical if you time it right. Our best time this month? Appy at Brown’s Social House 

We had nachos, yam fries and Korean chicken.

The nachos were fairly standard, everything was fresh. There were a ton of toppings and nothing was soggy. That’s a huge win!

The yam fries were perfectly seasoned and came with the most delicious chipotle dipping sauce that was my favourite part of the whole meal!

The chicken was mildly spicy and tasty. Hubs said it was a bit dry and my complaint was that it didn’t hold its crunch the whole way through but to be fair it was drenched in sauce so that’s probably just the way it is. We liked it, at any rate.

They even made me a unique yet recognizable Dark and Stormy even though there was some confusion as to what that was at first. Everything was hot, fresh and tasty. Service was good and I got to enjoy a weeknight out with this guy:

Best Idea I Had This Month:

I love the feel of clean sheets. Is there anyone who doesn’t? I have a friend who changes her sheets every other day and I used to think she was nuts but; the other day I climbed into bed and was so grateful for the fresh bedding that I decided then and there to change the sheets every four days instead of every seven. I feel so self satisfied like I just invented something amazing or finally gave myself permission to really live, ha ha, Its the little things in life!

All in all, November treated me most kindly. I’m still alive and kicking 🙂

How was your month? What are you looking forward to in December?