Micro Dosing with Melatonin- Spring Update

If you’re new here, I’ve been micro dosing with melatonin to ease my S.A.D symptoms, since ooohhh, the day I felt Autumn in the air. Around July 29, 2019 I think. I take .5 mg of melatonin in the late afternoon every day and write about my progress! If you’re interested in previous posts you can find them here, here, and here.

Spring! It’s been “spring” for a bit now.

At first, I really thought my “data” had been ruined by this pandemic.

When we hit Spring on March 19, 2020 we were well in the midst of this particular shit show and I was not feeling so good. I was anxious and just starting to slip into the blues.

BUT, in February when the pandemic was all but a ghost ship on the horizon, I was feeling just fine.

I wasn’t feeling any of the effects of S.A.D at all. Not a thing! I was clear and alert and…normal. What was also normal was the way I was feeling in the midst of a global pandemic.

It wouldn’t be fair to blame the slight case of blahs I felt in March on S.A.D.

Especially when said blues have poofed off into nothingness. People in the know are fully aware that S.A.D never just poofs off.

So ya know, I’m just going to call it: Melatonin works like a hot damn on my Seasonal Affective Disorder. It has successfully helped me through the long dark months and I’ll be doing it again next year. This time I’m going to start it earlier…closer to the Summer Solstice. July felt a little late…like I had to play catch up before feeling the positive benefits.

Some other things I’ve learned:

It’s not a magic cure, you still have to do the work. Practice good self care, mind your thoughts and be consistent with your dose.

Taking melatonin in the later months when your body doesn’t need it as much is going to be a whole different experience. I started taking my dose later because it wasn’t dark at 4pm and I found that it was making me very sleepy, very early. When this happens, it’s time to stop micro dosing. But listen to YOUR OWN BODY, not what I tell you to do. Your results will vary.

Do your own research on all of this yourself too. Don’t just listen to me. Make sure such a thing is right for you. Your doctor and Google – look for quality research papers- are your friend.

I still take melatonin in the evening if I notice my sleep getting wonky. I think this is just as important as the micro dosing and I should have been doing this all along. Good sleep is important to your mental health.

There you have it 🙂 I think every year is going to be different and I’m probably going to learn new things as I go along still but I feel confident that micro dosing with melatonin is a great helper in my mental health toolbox.

Have you tried micro dosing? How did it work for you?

Things I’ve learned… (#3)

since the last time I did this exercise which was in November of 2019.

1. People ARE fantasically creative helpers. Sure, there are a few bad apples but mostly we are all decent human beings. Here is an excellent written piece that covers it all in greater detail. I touched on this in March but it bears repeating : A Pandemic restored my faith in humanity! We can do good and we ARE doing good. I just love us!

2. I have a lot of specific skills that were sure under appreciated by both my former self and society. But wow, those skills are valuable now!

3. Bergamot is a fruit! I somehow thought it was an herb or a root…I had no clue that it was a citrus fruit until I went searching to buy some to add to my tea. Too funny!

4. You can make yeast out of so many things! Potatoes…dried fruit…I’ll be giving this all a try in the coming days. And posting it all here of course!

5. I’m an introvert so while extroverts were freaking about not being so social anymore, I was laughing. I was BORN FOR THIS! I haven’t suffered nearly as much as my more extroverted peers. But then as the weeks passed, I noticed that I was REALLY looking forward to grocery shopping. I was extra,extra chatty with the poor cashiers and other shoppers. I realized this: I still need human interaction. Fuck! My social needs for other humans may be less than other people. But I still need them. Shocking.

6. Whisky and Pepsi is as good as Rye and Coke. The Pepsi is light tasting enough so as to not over power the whisky. Plus it doesn’t go sickly sweet when it warms over time. I have always been a firm Coca Cola girl but ya know…Pepsi has its place.

7. My boy is climbing his mountain of recovery with determination and good humour. I feel like its safe for me to meet him where he is and walk alongside him now. ❤

How about you? What have you learned lately?

A-Z Challenge – Reflections.

The A-Z Challenge felt really low key for me this year.

It was my second year with this blog so I think that played a role. Less first time jitters, less “have a thing or two to prove” mindset 🙂 NOt only that…we’re in the middle of a pandemic! There is a certain fog that comes with that too.

Instead of making a point to visit participating blogs starting April 1, this year I visited blogs as they signed up on the main list, a little bit at a time in the month beforehand! Last year, visiting the blogs and commenting on every single one grew to be most stressful. This year was much more relaxed and enjoyable.

I did follow Blogger blogs but rarely went to visit. I feel bad about that but as a person with a lot going on, the incompatibility of the two blog platforms grew to be too great a hinderance . If it wasn’t right in front of my face, it got lost in the swirl of all the other things I had going on.

I ended up visiting all blogs on the list, up to April 1, and at my last count that number was a whopping 430 blogs! Wow. There were over 500 blogs to join by the end of sign up. Out of those 430 blogs I followed 18 new blogs that interested me. As other people visited me, I popped in to visit them and followed a few more too. I also stopped following a few blogs as time went on. Last year, I found it so cringey to go to a blog and comment for the sake of commenting. SO I made sure the blogs I followed met my personal criteria so that I’d be better able to interact in an authentic manner. I’m not a good faker 🙂

My intention going into this challenge was to go easy on myself and be genuine. I wrote my posts ahead of time so I could really focus on my comments and the blogs I followed. I was kind to myself if I couldnt think of something to say or if I just didn’t feel like reading anything that day too.

My theme was ” I don’t know” and that was fun to write. I really enjoy the thrill of the unknown and of course I LOVE learning new things. Even if that new thing is simply- I still don’t know. My theme allowed me to write about a variety of subjects, which is totally my jam too!

The people I met were lovely and kind and fun to engage with too. I found a lot of smart,funny,creative and interesting new blogs to read and the experience was overwhelmingly positive. Something that was especially appreciated during these weird times we find ourselves in.

Thank you for reading. Thank you for commenting. Thank you for being your authentic self and thank you for seeing me, too.

Love and Squishy Hugs!

Hearts heart art GIF on GIFER - by Vojin

Covid19 Cuisine – Chicken Burger

I was really craving a chicken sandwich last month but society was under physical distancing orders and hopping on a bus to get my fix just didn’t seem to be a good choice.

So what did I do? Improvise!

I scrounged up a squished bun from the freezer, heated up the last three chicken finger too – a good Gigi always has chicken fingers for the Grands-, sliced up some pickles, slopped on some fancy BBQ sauce – made with merlot- and ended up with this:

It wasn’t half bad. The BBQ sauce was a poor choice, next time I’ll stick to mayo and mustard but still…a tasty lunch indeed!

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

Monday Ramble in May.

Hello! Happy Monday! – Or Big Weekend as its known these days for those of us not working. Happy May! And Happy Rain Day.

It’s been raining all night and once it stops and the sun works its magic, everything is going to be GREEN GREEN GREEN again! Woot Woot!

The sun is my main squeeze. But, my side squeeze is pretty damn awesome too!

I bring you an example of True Love:

The Hubs came back to the house after he left for work and tapped on the window, beckoning me to come outside. He had something to tell me.

“Don’t go outside today.”


“There are worms EVERYWHERE!”

He then went on to count the ones on the sidewalk in front of our house. There were over TWENTY worms on the eight square of concrete and more than that on the road. *shudder.

Yep. Definitely NOT going outside today. Gross. Thanks Honey. ❤ What a guy.

I feel so low key today. The rain is making me feel cosy and sleepy. Today is a perfect day for reading books, reading blogs and watching movies ❤

I may also have an A-Z hangover. I love doing the challenge but I also love when its over. I feel like I get my blog back. That seems silly because it’s always been MY blog but its extra work and energy, outside of my normal output. The challenge takes over it all. For an introvert like me, it takes me a bit to fill the reserves back up! Despite the worms, I’m grateful for today. I’ll be less inclined to do stuff 🙂

So, do I prefer the wormpocalypse or the Sun, 2020?

HA HA HA! Yeah…I’m still going with the sun.

Always the sun. 🙂

( My version of Sun 2020, mind you. My version is a privileged version for which I am SO grateful. Lots of people have shitty versions, that’s for damn sure. )

We’re starting to phase life back in, in my province and it’s a bit strange. I’ll be able to go to the dentist for a cleaning but not the library. That makes ZERO sense to me.

Can you tell I miss the library and was looking forward to missing the dentist 😉

Dr. Hinshaw says we can gather and meet friends too-up to 15-, so long as we’re well and practice social distancing. I’m not entirely sure about that either.

In theory it’s safe and lovely and all that. In practice, its so easy to forget! I helped a gent experiencing homelessness and I was definitely within 6 ft of him and a whole host of other folks. I chose humanity over safety and that was the right thing to do in that moment. I just know that choice will be even easier to fling off around friends and family. I guess, it’s like everything else; it takes practice.

Has this ever happened to you? It has to me! I love these little reminders to refocus my attention sometimes. A person doesn’t have to ignore what’s going on, just take a break from it when you stop seeing the good stuff too.

Do you have any big plans for the month ahead? I’m going for a distance walk with a friend on Saturday and have made it my mission to explore all sorts of cool new places this month. Oh! And get my bike out for more rides too! How about you?

F*ck Up Friday – Mindlessness.

Friends! I’ve done a thing!

I was feeling most proud of myself the other day because I was busy. Busy, busy.busy. Getting all my tasks done for once! Go me!

I’d even taken a cloth and my spray bottle of water and bleach and given the clothes line a wipe, a small chore I wouldn’t have done until after I’d given my clean clothes dirt strips the first time.

I WAS ON FIRE! Puttering here, puttering there, spraying BLEACH WATER IN MY HAIR!

I have a spray bottle of regular water that I use to refresh my crazy day two hair with. It was sitting on the kitchen counter-because I also use it to refresh wrinkled clothes before I pop them in the dryer. – Welp. My bottle of bleach and water was also sitting on the kitchen counter and I mindlessly grabbed it instead!

I didn’t notice I was spraying bleach on my chemically streaked hair until I set it down beside me on the tub edge so I could really work the “water” in.

I noticed the clean smell…but never made the connection until my eyes took in the bottle.


Behold the two bottles:

It was all OK, I was able to rinse it out right away and the Hubs says my hair is still gray, not green but still. This was a pretty awesome fuck up, if I do say so myself.

Have you had any epic screws up lately? Please share!

Best of April 2020

Goodbye April! You were a jumbled mix of all the things and I thank you for the good ❤

Here are my Bests.

This Gorgeous Cat:

New cars for my collection the Grandkids:

A walk in someone else’s neighbourhood:

This YouTube channel:

The Crappy Childhood Fairy by Anna Runkle. Clear, humane, dignified, helpful , straight talk about Childhood PTSD and other things.

Speaking of YouTube….Korean Street food videos are my new favourite way to relax!

This book:

What She Knew by Gilly MacMillan was a thrilling, thought provoking read with some very modern themes about motherhood and social media. Give it a go! It’s number one in a series.

This deal from Chapter’s Indigo:

Five books for 25 dollars! I had a gift card so my books only cost me 10 bucks! I think this is a regular thing so if you’re short on moola these days- who isn’t?- check out their deal online. I had a gift card to use so I chose to shop with them. I’ll be supporting a local store the next time because I think that’s an important thing to do. Having said that, money may be an issue depending on their prices and it’s a privileged person who is able to do so exclusively. So don’t feel bad if you can’t!

This glass which holds exactly one ounce of whiskey and one can of mix:

It’s always so pleasing to have things work out exactly right. Satisfying to the last drop, before and after.

These wee baby starts!

It’s my first time starting plants indoors and it’s been really fun! Every time something sprouts I get so excited and I find myself talking to them and calling them “my babies” like the unapologetic weirdo I am ❤ I need proper lights because some of them are pretty leggy but the ones to do get the light first off are amazing and give me hope for next year. Here’s hoping I don’t kill them all before last frost. Wish me luck!

This glorious sunset:

This seasonal change:

And oh a million other lovely things! It’s amazing to me how much my mood changes with the seasons. I just appreciate ALL THE THINGS that much more when a. My sky medicine shines b. Its warm enough to feel the sky medicine on my skin!

Sunshine of your love |

I hope April treated you well! What would be on your Best Of List?

Love, Squishy Hugs and Hope for an excellent May!

A- Z Challenge – Zooty

I did not know Zooty was a word! I like it!

It means: flashy in manner or style. Think zoot suit. (Duh, Lael) Which has a very interesting history itself! Go have a read. I fell into the worm hole for a bit myself.

http://hdl.loc.gov/loc.pnp/fsa.8b14443 by:John Ferrell

I think I’m going to start using Zooty in my regular every day.

I use Ginchy which is also outdated so why not!

I do this thing…where I take an old term that I LOVE, use it without irony and then wait and see if others around me pick it up and take it for a run…they usually do, heh. The secret is to act like it’s a normal every day word and drop it regularly into run of the mill sentences.

In recent years I’ve been successful with : “Rad” and “That’s my jam.”

And not so successful with : “Choice.”.

I like to do this with words in other languages too! But that’s more for my own educational purposes.

Let’s see where I get with Zooty!

I’ll keep you updated.

A – Z Challenge – Youth

I don’t know why our culture is so obsessed with youth.

Don’t get me wrong. I love the young. I’m not one of those people who’s always shaking their fist and raging “Kids these days!” I think today’s youth are smarter and kinder and more motivated than ever before. Young people and I get on great because I’m a kid at heart and because they really are MY people! I feel I have way more in common with the under 30 set than with my peers.

But would I trade in my wrinkles and loose parts to go back in time and be young again?

Not, and I can’t stress this enough, a chance in hell!

Back in the day, everything seemed to be a struggle. My brain hadn’t fully developed yet. I had no clue about anything and was in a constant state of confusion, angst and dread. We all know the teen years are rough but so are all the other years!

Why would anyone ever want to go back to that?!

I’ll take my hard earned lessons, peace of mind and my wrinkles gladly, thankyouverymuch.

Smooth skin and a tight ass mean nothing to me in comparison! I’ve earned these lines and grey hairs. And I’ve earned the peace, calm, wisdom and clarity that come with them.

Now to be fair and honest I must add an aside.

Just week last I uttered these words to myself as I was hobbling around the house after a long walk ” How the fuck, did it only take 20 years to age this much?!” Which was followed by this: ” Will I age as much in the next 20 too?!”

Ha Ha Ha!

So OK you youngsters, you can still keep your smooth skin and your tight asses but I wouldn’t mind some of your ease of movement 😛

A-Z Challenge- Xyster

I did not know that a xyster is a surgical instrument used to scrape bones.

Gah! How? Why?

These are things I STILL don’t know. So frustrating! Surgeons? Can you fill me in?

The word Xyster brings to mind one of my favourite funeral practices: Sky Burials. IN Tibetan – བྱ་གཏོར་- and in Wyliebya gtor, lit. “bird-scattered” ( I just love that!)

Bodies of the dead are given to vultures to eat. When only the bones remain, they are ground up using a variety of tools, mixed with tsampa and fed to hawks and crows and other birds too, I’m sure.

There are variations of course, but that’s the general idea and I think it’s the coolest thing! I would love for my body to go to the birds like that. ❤

Maybe one day!

Xyster, for scraping bones. Hmm. Who knew?!