Monday Ramble – Suffering, Love, Food, Family, Dogs.

Happy Monday?

Happy Monday!

Life is so strange. One day you can be so sad it comsumes your every thought and effects how your brain operates. The next, you’re laughing and playing with a four year old, having the best time.

That was my weekend. I know life is just like that. There is suffering and there is joy and the two are not mutually exclusive…it’s just always so weird when I experience it!

My friend is dealing with cancer that’s metastasized and it’s doing awful things to her body. I just learned of said awful things and …ugh. I don’t want her to suffer but she is, and she will further. In the midst of all that, we had a beautiful conversation about death and life and love and our friendship. I was sad and full of heart at the same time.

The next day we had Miss. Sassafras and four year olds are always such a hoot! She wanted to through rocks in a pond so that’s what we did (after hiking through Mill Creek Ravine and dragging around trees! )

The day after thaaaaat, we had everyone over for dinner and that was really fun. I got my wish and EVERYBODY was over. All the kids, all the spouses- former AND current-. YAY us! I made FOUR chickens, which everyone found hilarious for some reason, and my daughter in law brought us a cheesecake from The Italian Centre. Woot Woot!

I’ve got Hurricane Baby coming today and my heart is just full of all the things! Soft and sweet, hard and bitter. It’s a challenge to wrap the mind around it all πŸ™‚

Ha Ha Ha!
Bloody dogs and their barking!
Something to consider….

Seems I was thinking about dogs!

I hope this day finds you all well ❀

Everyone Should Keep A List…#5

Of all the little things they love!

  1. Being woken by a storm in the morning.
  2. When my Crow friends seek me out in the window…

3. Racing the volatile June weather. Sometimes I make it home in time…sometimes I don’t!

4. Drying all my herbs and roots!

5. Spring flowers!

6. Making friends with wild Ravens:

7. Sitting comfortably outside to read my books, watch the sky or just be.

8. When everybody gets along and the general energy amongst all is good cheer.

9. Gigantic salads for dinner. This one HERE, was particularly good. Mind you I didn’t bother with slicing the lettuce into a slab- I chopped it up because who wants to fuss eating a salad with a freaking knife and fork!?- and the recipes says peaches but if you look at the recipes their very own photo shows nectarines… I used nectarines too!

10. Dorky hats. I didn’t buy this super cool fishing hat because I have a million floppy hats but still…floppy hats are just fun!

11. Getting good mail. Packages, surprise cheques, letters or cool catalogues.

12. Feeling the very wet underside of my little dog as she jumps all over me, after she’s been outside in the rain.

13. Having an animated chat with my daughter on the phone.

14. Funny texts from my son that tell me he’s come back to me. It seems I have my boy back. Not the drug addicted human but the boy I know and love.

15. My first moto ride of the season even if it was two hours TOO long and my body hurt for days, ha ha.

16. Hoop earrings I can close with a simple and satisfying click.

17. That compact feeling you get when you’ve been consistent with your core exercises and good posture.

18. Cat frog legs and toe beans!

19. The sun shining in my eyes at 930 PM (!!!!) forcing me to put my sunglasses on to read in my house, ha ha. I adore these nights leading to to Solstice. I stay up so late because I’m just not tired at my usual time with the sun still blaring away at me. This year I’m giving myself over to it. I’m letting myself fall into step with the cycles of the earth.

20. SOLSTICE!!! 95 days of Summer( here in the Northern hemisphere. )Well, technically sure. But in actuality…after these first few days these Summer days start getting shorter and the weather starts making it’s turn toward Autumn. Enjoy the sun and the warmer days while you still can. I don’t think I’ve worn shoes in weeks, ha ha, even with the rain. Do I sound negative? Not my intention! I’m trying to remind myself of the impermanence of all things and that I need to make the most of Summer while it’s here. Maybe that will help me come Autumn. Fingers crossed!

OK, now it’s your turn. Tell me, what are some of the little things you love?

Plant Medicine – Using Cannabis Spray.

After using my spray a few more times I now feel confident enough to share my testimony!

I bought this stuff here:

It even comes with an official seal:

It’s a non flavoured spray and there are something like 400 sprays in that wee little bottle.

It’s called Balance because its a balanced mix -or close to it- of CBD( 12.20 mg) and THC (13.20 )

CBD is the stuff the medical community is all excited about. THC is the stuff that makes you feel funny! So you can see, there is very little THC in this stuff!

I was told that with this particular product, my mind would stay clear but my body would become really relaxed. It would be good for the pain in my bicep and later, once that resolved itself, it’d be good for calming my anxiety too. I would be able to use it – after experimenting with the dosage safely first- and be able to go to work! That’s how clear my mind would be.

Good! In the past I’d hated feeling high. I wanted to be melty and gooey but not paranoid and stupid, laughing at any dumb thing or freaking out because “everyone can tell I’m high”.

It was recommended that I start out with a small dose of two or three sprays. The gent at the counter actually suggested ONE, since I hadn’t used it in 35 years so one is what I started myself at.

I was honestly really nervous to try it that first time. I had a problem with the unknown of the whole thing. The gent who helped me in the store told me that while, there was a certain consistency to how a body would react, every body is different and everyone reacts in a different way.

There was only one way to find out how that way would be for me so I took the safety seal off, figured out how to use the locking mechanism and gave myself a spray.

Right in the back of my throat.

Don’t do that!

I felt like I was having an allergic reaction! But I think it was just poor application that made the back of my throat itchy.

Under the tongue or in the lip like a spot of “chew” is a much better idea!

It tasted kind of skunky but tolerable.

Within 15 mins I was feeling the effects. My body remembered it right away-humans have cannabinoid receptors. Did you know that?- and soon I was feeling it most strongly in my body. It was very strange at first, to be so relaxed. I didn’t notice my arm at all. (Which by that time was not hurting as bad as it had been) I checked my eyes in the mirror and they looked normal. I felt mostly normal, still clear headed. I was able to play Mahjong and hold normal conversations. There was still this sort of pull to go “into myself” and be alone with the relaxed feeling but it wasn’t so strong that I wasn’t able to tear myself away. I was still social and coherent.

I went to bed shortly after that and slept for TEN FULL HOURS!

The relaxed feeling lasted for days after too. I wasn’t like a puddle of goo or anything, I was just … chill. Calm. Unbothered.

My second does was after doing… something…I can’t remember what … gardening probably! I took one spray again and went straight to bed. This time my experience was kind of meh.

My mistake was taking it, waiting 5 mins and then brushing my teeth. I felt it less than the time before and it only lasted about an hour and then my mind was back to it’s usual self, chattering away. When I finally did fall asleep though, I slept well.

The third time was a one spray experience too but this time, I gave myself time before bed and while I was happy with the way my body felt, my damn mind would not shut up.

The thing about being super relaxed like that is that any part of you that is a sort of “problem” spot reeeeeally becomes more noticeable because everything else is nice and chill. My jaw for instance. My bruxism is BAD. And of course, my monkey mind! This is a very common occurrence according to my internet research, SO keep this in mind if you intend to try it too.

Now, the last time I tried it, was after a day of naughty gardening again. (Naughty because I’m not supposed to be using my arm! ) This time I used TWO sprays to see if it helped the monkey mind – it did not- and while it was a little more melty making, it wasn’t long lasting and I woke up with arm pain in the night. ( I had really over done it that day) I got up to pee and stretch my arm and then fell promptly back asleep so while I did still feel some pain, being able to fall back asleep was definitely an improvement.

I’ve tried it a few more times and each time was different but positive.

What’s my final verdict?

It’s still evolving, really.

It’s great for sleeping. It’s great for relaxing the body. It seems to have helped me achieve a greater state of mental calm- even with my monkey mind!- in the every day, just from a few uses by sort of calming down my central nervous system. It allows me to be clear headed and function when I use it.

I’m not sure how I feel about going to work while using it though. I think my anxiety is somewhat helpful in keeping me on my toes…but I would be able to if I chose to do so.

I can’t really say what it did for pain because I haven’t used it while in a highly pained state. It did help me relax enough and not think about the discomfort I was feeling though…it wasn’t useless like the Toradol, by any means. And while I did wake up once in the night, in pain, I was able to fall back asleep. That has never happened before…I think in higher doses, the pain relief would be good- higher doses comes with foggy brain though but if I was desperate, I would choose that!

It showed me my trouble spot- monkey mind and jaw clenching- which I appreciated. I’m more conscious of tending to those things now.

It surprised me by showing me something else…I want that floaty brain feeling! I felt like it was missing from the experience. I would LOVE to get my mind to shut up for once!

Whaaaaaat?!

I know right?!

I never, in a million years thought I’d want to feel like that again but I find myself craving it. The body relaxation feels incomplete without it.

It’s highly, highly unlikely I’ll be seeking that feeling out for the same reasons I don’t seek out my beloved Ativan, ha ha, but I wanted to mention it as part of my experience, in the interest of honesty and authenticity. Instead, I’ll mediate “like my hair is on fire” and calm my monkey mind the old fashioned way. It’s nice to know the option’s there … but I’m not sure it’d be wise of me to use it for that.

All in all, I would recommended this product to first time users, for sure. (After you do your own research, of course!) It felt safe and I didn’t have any weird or negative side effects. It’s become a part of my regular routine. I use it any time I feel like I’ve over worked my arm or if I’ve had a “big day” and am too jacked up to sleep. The good side effects are long lasting. I can take two sprays once in a week and I’m still sleeping well and feeling unbothered four whole days later! It’s worth it, just for that!

So there you have it. I hope reading about my experience helps you if you need it. If you have any thoughts or questions, I’m here to help if I can!

Lunerday!

The celebration of my birth month continues. Just about two more weeks left. June is just whipping by us!

It’s been fun! I’ve thrown all routine out the window. Unless I have an appointment… I do what I want. This usually means being outside in the garden. Either weeding or reading. Strangely I find both equally relaxing. Weeding is actually really fun AND I’m developing a wicked tan!

Monday:

These were OK. Not as good as the Peek Freans version though.

Tuesday:

Palm Bay beverages are made in Vancouver, BC. My old stomping grounds! This was OK. Strong but quick passionfruit flavour, no raspberry that I could taste. Bit of a vodka-y after taste. Not the worst thing I’ve ever had but I probably wont buy them again.

Wednesday:

I am IN LOVE with these earrings! They’re made out of flowers! And they are just so cool looking. The colour is out of this world. Krista is a really cool person too. I met her (and bought these) at a local craft show, here in Edmonton. You can check out her site HERE which I see is under maintence SO you can find her here, on ETSY

Thursday:

I’m a sucker for handmade soap. These four are all delicious smelling AND the one I’m using now- Sophisticated Hippie- lathers up really nicely. I can tell its made with quality ingredients because my skin feels so soft and clean after each use. Apple Island Naturals is also in BC and are run by nice people! Check them out HERE.

Friday:

Isn’t this the cutest thing!? And given my current bird obsession, very appropriate! The eggs are such a vibrant teal and they’re opalescent…they glow against my skin. Handmade again, and the artisan was a lovely human. You can find her HERE. Tracey is in Calgary, AB.

Saturday:

Get in MY BELLY!

Yes, that is a hamburger. My FAVOURITE hamburger, a Teen Burger from A&W πŸ™‚ Nom Nom Nom

You can now find me on Instagram >>>over there, in the sidebar. Follow me, if you’re so inclined.

I hope your weekend is going great! Love & Squishy Hugs. ❀

F*ck Up Friday- Losing The Pause.

We haven’t had a Fuck Up Friday in awhile!

I’m just so perfect and never make mistakes I guess.

“snicker”

That’s a lie if there ever was one!

I have most definitely made mistakes, I just haven’t been too, too worried about them, which my friends is progress!

But I did fuck up recently, and I do think I should share because it could potentially help someone else.

When I was working at my very stressful job and living my very stressful life, I was meditating two times a day PLUS doing walking meditation for 50 mins every week day.

It barely made a dent in my anxiety but it gave me “the pause” . That space between feeling and thought. Thought and speech. Thought and action. It gave me a safe place, a second at a time to gather myself and realize that I was OK. That I was doing OK and that I was resilient and brave and all the rest.

Life improved. I quit that job. And I started slacking off. At first I’d miss a day of meditation. Then a few days. Then weeks. Then whole months would pass with no formal practice.

Sure, I was still practicing my checkins and doing my mantras and I’ve always used walks as meditiation. But it seems those thing were not enough!

I’ve recently noticed how quick I am to anger! Over little stupid things! I’m starting to get pretty vocal about it too…ranty. Which is fine for things like human rights and environmental issues and politics…but maybe not ok for Vagisil commercials… ha ha ha.

I have made a mistake! I lost my pause when I lost my meditation practice!

I have fucked up!

Having said that, I am grateful! Why? Because I was still a half assed meditator back when I was consistent. Sure, I did it A LOT but I did it out of need and desperation as opposed to knowledge and appreciation. Now I know for myself. I have first hand knowledge and experience behind me telling me WHY it’s important to have a consistent practice. I know the value of it and you can bet your booty, I wont be so lax with it in the future.

I might even buy one of those pillow things and do it properly, ha!

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Sooooo, if you have a practice…and you think it’s not working or you think it’s boring, or you think it’s OK to miss “just one day” please think of me ranting about feminine “hygiene” products and reconsider. You might not be able to see the full scope of all the positive benefits but they are there!

Did you have any major f*ck ups this week? This is a safe place to share them if you have!

Plant Medicine – Spruce / Pine Tip Syrup & Tea ala Little Mountain Ranch.

Originally in this spot I was going to write about my experience trying my cannabis spray. Instead, I bring you today’s subject because the spruce trees are growing new tips RIGHT NOW and I wanted to get the information out there for anyone who wants to harvest their own! Cannabis is coming, I promise.

My friend Chelsea, has a YouTube channel where she vlogs about her homesteading lifestyle, amongst other awesome things.

She’s a truly great human being . The kind of person who inspires others and she shares some really awesome stuff.

She’s got a video up this week about making Spruce Tip/Pine Tip syrup. I had no idea a person could do such a thing!

Spruce and Pine tips are really high in vitamin C and while I’m not one for syrup, Chelsea mentions in her video that she also dries some tips for tea. Can you imagine the healing properties in that, right around cold and flu season? Now THAT is totally my jam, so today on my walk I brought along a bag and harvested my own spruce tips!

This is what they look like:

Like Chels says, you want the soft bits on the end and it’s pretty easy to tell the new tips from the old growth because the old growth is really ouchie to touch!

They pull off really easily too and it’s really pleasant to circle a giant tree, quietly picking off bits here and there. It would be wise to choose trees that are not near major roads and of course, it’s probably not a great idea to venture on to private property. I went to a local park that was well away from the road. Don’t take too much and if you’re witchy or so inclined, give the tree your thanks too.

But first, check out Chelsea’s video and channel here @ Little Mountain Ranch, for all the important information. She shares a lot of cool things and like I said, she’s an overall ginchy human you’ll want to get to know better.

I’ve got my tips drying in the sun right now:

And I’ll be back again, when I make my first cup of tea with them! Now get out there and get picking!