I know I sound like a broken record when I say this but I’m saying it anyway: Where did May go? How is it possible for time to just zoom by like this?
May Shit List
Opioids and the doctors that prescribe them to children in a care free, willy nilly way. ( This is how my 19 year old nephew died )
My shoulder which seems to be permanently disabled.
Myself, for losing the power cord to a very expensive camera!
This worm for crawling right in my path, trapping me in the car.
The person who assaulted this 84 year old woman out watering her lawn. There’s video footage of the douche bag. Check it out, see if you know him then report his ass.
Any weather from the North that continues to INSIST UPON ITSELF in May. Go on, get out of here! Don’t come back until December.
Aaaannnnd, I think that’s it!
Not too bad for an entire month. I’m finding this practice therapeutic and positive. I know! Doesn’t that seem counter intuitive? Seeing things that make me mad, in print, takes away their power and clears a path for other things. Like grief and humour. Like acceptance and resiliency.
How was your month in this regard? What is making you mad these days?!
Can you believe we’re already nearing the end of April? Shocking!
It hasn’t been the worst month, pandemic aside but still, I’ve got some things on the ole shit list. Some pretty bad things too.
* If you’re new here, read about my Shit Lists HERE.
T.S Elliot was right, for different reasons.
“April is the cruelest month, breeding lilacs out of the dead land, mixing memory and desire, stirring dull roots with spring rain.”
Here are mine:
1. My Uterus. It has an agenda of its own and that agenda is to make me suffer. Sure the IUD has slowed the constant bleeding but everything else remains exactly the same. I’m >thisclose< to performing a home hysterectomy.
2. The person who was quick to remind and caution me, most pointedly, that my son- who has struggled with addiction- was once also a sparkly eyed curious little boy, when I was describing my grandchild as such. Like what does that even mean?! And what exactly was your intention? And how stupid are you? DO you really think all sparkly eyed curious boys grow up to become drug addicts? What exactly were you warning me against? And what did you expect me to do with said warning? Stop loving my babies? I’m perplexed…oh and also:
Now obviously I should be posing my questions to said person but I was shocked out of my gourd. Stunned. This is a person who is supposed to be a close friend. Anyway, this was a great reminder to watch my own mouth and be careful what I say and to remember that people say stupid shit all the time and may not mean anything cruel by it…but still, I am allowed to be angry and therefore…onto the shit list it goes!
3. The employee of my husband’s who came in to work SICK! It’s been 14 + days and we’re still ok so phew! Social distancing works. It was scary there for a little while though. Every sneeze and sniffle, every cough and tickle edged up the anxiety.
4. Whatever it was that killed my nephew in March. He wasn’t even 22. I dont know how he died – I’m no contact with my first family under the guidance of mental health professionals.- but it was described as sudden and senseless. What an awful, awful thing.
5. The 8mm mass in my daughter in law’s BRAIN, that is not only messing up her life but which also comes with some very scary risks for removal. This girl isn’t even 30 and she’s already had to deal with so much in her life. She takes superb care of my granddaughter and she’s sweet and loving and fun. I know life isn’t fair and nobody deserves this shit but still, I’m gonna say it- She’s been through more than her fair share already.
6. People not skilled in listening and/or reading comprehension who just LOVE to shoot their mouth off. Stop. Slow down. Pay attention and then respond. I know we all do this sometimes. I do it! And I cringe every.single.time I realize my mistake, ha! I’m talking about the people who are not so self aware and regularly “communicate” this way.
7. My little pup who is coyote bait but insists upon being outside constantly now that the weather is warm. In and out. In and out. Guess who else gets to go in and out? In and out? Yeah…me. And it’s not like she does anything important while we’re out there! No pees, no poos. She barks at random things…eats grass…chases bugs. All the while I stand there supervising. She is driving me crazy and I think we’re going to have to build a higher fence just for her.
Alrighty! That felt good! I got the shitty things out of my head and I’m ready to move on toward the good. Here’s something to ponder in the meantime:
If there ever was a month for a shit list, it’s been this one. As of yesterday, my province has had 67 new cases of COVID 19, bringing our total to 486. Country wide, we’re at 4043 at the time of this writing, and 500,000 + the world over. These are just confirmed cases too. We’re not testing everyone so the real numbers are much, much higher. AND the horrifying thing is that its still early days for my country. We haven’t even seen the half of it.
Even with current events, my list is still pretty short. Actually scratch that, ha! In the writing of said list, I seem to have gone off a bit. Prepare yourself! Venting is a great stress relief and it seems I be stressin 😆
Happy Friday! And Happy Shit-Listing!
1. All circumstances that have led to a world wide pandemic.
2. My bread machine for living 11+ years and then choosing to die now.
3. The Epcor guy who left my latched gate completely wide open. Fucker.
4. People hoarding food and other supplies to sell at jacked up prices.
5. The grocery stores who allowed this ^to go on for WEEKS before doing anything about it and then had the nerve, the NERVE to blame ordinary shoppers for panic buying. Fuck you.
6. Anybody who is not taking this virus seriously and mocks those who are.
7. People who are scamming the government out of relief money. You will get caught, and I will laugh with joy and glee when you do.
8. A certain president of a neighbouring country. I don’t have enough brain cells to adequately describe my feelings concerning that one. Neighbours? I’m with you. ❤ I see you. ❤ I don’t know how to help you but I wish I did. ❤ And it all hurts my heart.
9. Winter. Please! For the love of all good things – GO AWAY!
10. The magpies for chasing away a pair of returning crows. You live here and benefit from me, 365 days a year. The least you can do is share your tree so I can make some new crow friends! There are enough peanuts to go around.
Alright. Now that that nonsense is out of my head I’m going for a nice walk- 2 metres away from everything! 🙂
Your turn. Who or what is on your March Shit List?
Every month I get the negative nonsense out of my head by compiling a Shit List. It’s great fun!
February has been pretty mild. Until I walked 5 mins after the fact into the middle of an unsecured crime scene/police SHOOTING, complete with cops walking around in a daze, ha.
Me to Cop One ” Uhhh, is it safe for me to be walking around the neighbourhood right now?”
Cop One ” No”
Here is my Shit List!
1. The Asshat who slipped a religious pamphlet into the box of yogurt I brought home from the grocery store. It’s bad enough religious assaults are inescapable in the day to day -especially in this province- but do you really have to molest me with your nonsense in the grocery store? Do you? And do you really think THAT is going to be THE THING that converts me ? It’s not. Here is a piece of advice from me to you: Stop wasting your time trying to “save” me and spend that time living your life as a shining example of love, respect and acceptance for all. Trust me, this will have a far greater impact on the world than your fire and brimstone bullshit ever will.
2. The cold temperatures!
I can handle the snow. I can even handle the ice because it means the temps are warm (ish) and things are moving towards the big melt. What I am DAMN tired of is the cold. Minus eleventy something degrees Celsius ? I’ve had enough of you! Get out of here. It’s warmed up slightly now but I know how this works…and I’m ever wary. Go away! The Spring sky doesn’t match the snow or the cold and its messing with my head.
3. Myself, for not realizing that if read down too far on the wiki page of a certain show I watch I may come across spoilers! Boooo!
4. Meth. Meth is the one of the reasons for the major crime surge in my neighbourhood. Last week, I walked into the aftermath of a police shooting! This was after the second violent car jacking of the day in my neighbourhood, to be followed by the whirlybird/dog take down of another car thief. All within a 3 mile radius. Then! Then! Then! The very next day, two kids got shanked at the mall 5 km away. My trauma injury is having a time. I am ready to GO OFF.
And there you have it! Not too bad for a whole month! I mean, the violence is bad enough for the month but if you take that out…this was a great month!
I used to think that in order to be a sunshiny, sugar sweet kind of person, I had to avoid all things that were negative. Life quickly taught me that was an impossible task! And so I found myself obsessively hiding the ugly stuff in life. Or glossing it up with lies and excusing it with pseudo science and platitudes.
For the LONGEST time I thought there was something wrong with me!
Why aren’t any of these positive thoughts working on any of my problems!?!?!?!?!?
Then as I delved deeper in my practice and I learned that all humans suffer. That suffering is a fact of life and a shared experience for all 7 billion of us, I felt great relief but I was still stuck with all these negative feelings. What the hell do I do with them?!
Well, the first thing I do is feel them.
And then…I put them on my Shit List!
There is something therapeutic about acknowledging the negative and then letting it go.
Sometimes, it comes back. That’s fine. Onto the list again. A shit list is actually a great tool to have because it:
Gets the negativity out of your head.
Helps you uncover patterns and serves as a roadmap to your challenges.
Validates your feelings OR shows you when you’re being a dumbass. ( The power of print! )
You can put anything you want on your list. People, experiences, objects, forces of nature. Whatevs. It’s all appropriate. We’re just making note of things that caused us suffering so we can acknowledge the negative and then… let it go.
With all that in mind I bring you: January’s Shit List
1. Alberta’s current government.
2. The creeps who prowl my neighbourhood, destroying and stealing property they go.
3. Mooshum, the worst watch dog in the history of watch dogs.
4. The Flu, which not only got me but gave my 2 year old grandson a febrile seizure and tossed my 5 year old granddaughter into the hospital with pneumonia.
5. Carl’s Jr. who ignored us in the drive thru,leaving us to sit there for 5 minutes before we drove away. I was really craving a burger too. Grrr!
6. Wimpy cough candies. Why even bother making your product? Ricola, I’m looking at you.
7. Myself, for being a mindless, careless knitter and a clueless human. This is a whole post in itself.
8. Animal “rescues” who operate more like pet stores.
9. People who rain on your parade. Yes, Janice I know getting your finger pierced is probably am exercise in snagged fingers but LET ME HAVE MY THING! And Oh, I’m sure owning and operating my own business would be a lot of work, let me find that out for MYSELF instead of gracing me with your “expert” advice. Do you think the thought never occurred to me? What exactly is your point and what are you trying to prove?! It seems like any time I have an idea, share something cool on social media or make note of something unusual, there is always someone there to take a giant steamer on it. Get.out.of.here.with.your.negativity!
10. Advertising in Alberta: First, the phone message from The Brick – a large furniture store- who regularly calls to advertise their shit over the phone. This time, instead of the usual ” I’m so and so from The Brick!” in used car salesman voice the message was as such- ” Hi! How are you?!” long pause…as if the person were waiting for your response even though it’s most obviously a recorded message” Ha ha, just joking this is so and so from The Brick” Go Fuck Yourself with that stupid shit!
Then there’s this gem:
I don’t live anywhere close to this neighbourhood! WHy are they sending me this and what does that photo have to do with teeth?! I hate capitalism.
11. My left ovary which feels like it has a cyst that’s trying to burst.
12. Unripe sapodilla’s that pretend to be ripe according to all sources but when you cut into said fruit of lies and take a big old bite out of a fruit that cost you 4 whole dollars, it so astringent that you have to spit it out into the sink and rinse your mouth out over and over again to repair the damage.
There, that should do it. One rant for every month of the year, ha. I feel better already. How about you? What’s on your SHit List this January?