Trust-2019

Every year I choose a word or a phrase to use as a short of guidepost and inspiration for the upcoming 365 days. 

In the past my focus has been on love and truth. One year I did fun and last year I chose a phrase – I don’t know- to help me with uncertainty.

This year I choose trust. And as soon as I choose the word, an opportunity to practice it was presented to me.

Two, actually. I just LOVE that!

I was in the mall, one frequented by the elderly.( You know the type ) When a slightly unkempt man started to make a fuss. Talking to himself in distress ” This is JUST great!” he says, throwing his hands up in the air. I kept walking, ignoring him because the dude seems a little unhinged. Something was off. 

Well of course dude approaches me. They always do. I’m a magnet for weirdos. ” Excuse me?!” Fuck. I keep walking but raise an eyebrow at him and off he goes! Into a long spiel about how he’s called the police numerous times and is getting no help and he’s lost this and he’s lost that and he really needs help. Its a bullshit, cockeyed story. Dude is trying to scam me for money. I cut straight to the chase ” You want money?” Yeah, he nods at me. “Not gonna happen. The bus driver might let you on for free if you ask nicely though” and off I go. Trusting in my wisdom and not falling for his nonsense, I alerted security and they called the cops, so yay for that!

Now, I’m used to trusting my wisdom when it comes to situations like that. I have plenty of practice! ( The stories I could tell … ) What I’m not skilled at is trusting in the opposite direction. Trusting that other humans mean well. 

Enter opportunity numero dos!

I’m sitting at the bus station, minding my business when the older lady beside me strikes up a conversation. We start yapping. Soon we’re fast friends,  older versions of drunk girls in bathroom bars. Ha ha!

Her bus comes and she reaches into her bag and pulls out another bag, filled with obviously homemade doughnuts. ” Take these. I made them this morning and tucked them in my bag to give to someone along the way” she says to me kindly. I graciously accept, touched by sweetness and pop them in my own bag. Off she goes. Her name was Olga.

Now OLD Lael, would have tossed that bag of treats straight in the garbage. How would she know if they were safe to eat or not, right? Yeah, Olga seemed lovely and kind but could I really be sure? Nope.

Here’s the thing though: We can NEVER really be sure. About anything. Or anyone. Nothing is in our control. Nothing is certain. Now was I going to toss the doughnuts OR use this neat encounter to practice my 2019 word?

Enter … New Lael.


Being the bad ass soul warrior that I am, I leapt at the chance to trust. Also, doughnuts! 

They were delicious and perfectly safe. I didn’t die. I didn’t get food poisoning. I enjoyed a treat from a new friend and felt the shackles loosen a bit from around my heart.

So yes, I engaged in an act of trust with another human but more importantly, I engaged in an act of trust with MYSELF.

I trusted that I was a good judge of character in that moment. I trusted my instincts and I trusted my intellect. I trusted my HEART.  

I aim to do more of that in 2019. I’m just so curious to see where else this word takes me.

How about you? Do you chose a word for the new year? Do tell?! 

Happy Day, My Friends.

May you be safe.

May you be happy.

May you be healthy.

May you live with ease.

I wish you all the very best! 

Oh! I got you a 175 lb something!

Ha Ha Ha!

You’re welcome 🙂 

I don’t know what you’re doing right now. Hell, I don’t even know what I’m doing right now (because I am a sneaky post scheduler)  Probably sleeping or opening presents with my man or eating some delicious breakfast or drinking some delicious drink. BUT whatever it is I hope it fills your heart with joy and love.

If that’s not possible for whatever reason just know that I LOVE YOU (yes YOU. Yes, I REALLY do) and that my heart is with you. No matter what. 

Stay safe friends. Be well.

Holiday Traditions ala Me.

I’m somewhat Witchy these days and a lot of my traditions really stem from my heathen/pagan/nature worshippin’ ways. The older I get, the more “me” I become, which is most interesting because sometimes I look at myself and think – Who ARE you anyway?- Its most fun to become one’s truest self.

My Yule starts with the Solstice, which takes place in the northern hemisphere on December 21, 2018 at ohhh….3:23 PM. My first order of business:

Wake and thank Chaos and Order for bringing back the light.

Watch the sun rise, from beginning to end.

Light ALL my candles and do a happy dance at 3:23 PM. I always feel so grateful for the slow and steady return of longer days. I am a fair weather person with a wonky brain, the returning light means I’ll suffer less and enjoy more.

Enjoy a special meal, something “earthy”. For me this is anything with mushrooms but it has to be healthy. I was going to make a hot mushroom salad this year but my Hubs is not keen on that so we’re having mushroom pizza, ha ha. Sometimes in life you have to compromise. We’ll have the salad another day and besides I’d really rather have something I don’t have to cook, on a Friday night after grocery shopping anyway!

I watch the sunset from beginning to end no matter where I am.

In the evening, by candlelight, I have myself a sit, and then reflect upon the dark, the light and set my intentions for the next seasons. I promptly forget then five seconds after I’m done but still…I think they swim around in there and affect positive change somehow.

My dream for this day is to have a yard big enough to have a bonfire in. One day….oh! And while we’re dreaming, I’d also love a fireplace or woodstove for a Yule log too. Next year I’m going to make a buche de noel because … cake!! AND because the buche de noel takes the place of the Yule log which was kept burning all night on Solstice’s past. It has a really cool history. 

There all sorts of Pagan traditions mixed in amongst the Christmas stuff … a little fact I take great pleasure in, especially when I hear all the nonsense about the so called war on Christmas.

Little by little Yule is coming back to life in my family. More and more people I know are celebrating it as such too. We have to do the things that have meaning to our lives. Celebrating the Holidays as they are now was slowly killing off my soul. Screw that!

How do you celebrate? Are you a cultural renegade too? What traditions do you have that are not of the norm?