I know I sound like a broken record when I say this but I’m saying it anyway: Where did May go? How is it possible for time to just zoom by like this?
May Shit List
Opioids and the doctors that prescribe them to children in a care free, willy nilly way. ( This is how my 19 year old nephew died )
My shoulder which seems to be permanently disabled.
Myself, for losing the power cord to a very expensive camera!
This worm for crawling right in my path, trapping me in the car.
The person who assaulted this 84 year old woman out watering her lawn. There’s video footage of the douche bag. Check it out, see if you know him then report his ass.
Any weather from the North that continues to INSIST UPON ITSELF in May. Go on, get out of here! Don’t come back until December.
Aaaannnnd, I think that’s it!
Not too bad for an entire month. I’m finding this practice therapeutic and positive. I know! Doesn’t that seem counter intuitive? Seeing things that make me mad, in print, takes away their power and clears a path for other things. Like grief and humour. Like acceptance and resiliency.
How was your month in this regard? What is making you mad these days?!
2. I have a lot of specific skills that were sure under appreciated by both my former self and society. But wow, those skills are valuable now!
3. Bergamot is a fruit! I somehow thought it was an herb or a root…I had no clue that it was a citrus fruit until I went searching to buy some to add to my tea. Too funny!
4. You can make yeast out of so many things! Potatoes…dried fruit…I’ll be giving this all a try in the coming days. And posting it all here of course!
5. I’m an introvert so while extroverts were freaking about not being so social anymore, I was laughing. I was BORN FOR THIS! I haven’t suffered nearly as much as my more extroverted peers. But then as the weeks passed, I noticed that I was REALLY looking forward to grocery shopping. I was extra,extra chatty with the poor cashiers and other shoppers. I realized this: I still need human interaction. Fuck! My social needs for other humans may be less than other people. But I still need them. Shocking.
6. Whisky and Pepsi is as good as Rye and Coke. The Pepsi is light tasting enough so as to not over power the whisky. Plus it doesn’t go sickly sweet when it warms over time. I have always been a firm Coca Cola girl but ya know…Pepsi has its place.
7. My boy is climbing his mountain of recovery with determination and good humour. I feel like its safe for me to meet him where he is and walk alongside him now. ❤
Can you believe we’re already nearing the end of April? Shocking!
It hasn’t been the worst month, pandemic aside but still, I’ve got some things on the ole shit list. Some pretty bad things too.
* If you’re new here, read about my Shit Lists HERE.
T.S Elliot was right, for different reasons.
“April is the cruelest month, breeding lilacs out of the dead land, mixing memory and desire, stirring dull roots with spring rain.”
Here are mine:
1. My Uterus. It has an agenda of its own and that agenda is to make me suffer. Sure the IUD has slowed the constant bleeding but everything else remains exactly the same. I’m >thisclose< to performing a home hysterectomy.
2. The person who was quick to remind and caution me, most pointedly, that my son- who has struggled with addiction- was once also a sparkly eyed curious little boy, when I was describing my grandchild as such. Like what does that even mean?! And what exactly was your intention? And how stupid are you? DO you really think all sparkly eyed curious boys grow up to become drug addicts? What exactly were you warning me against? And what did you expect me to do with said warning? Stop loving my babies? I’m perplexed…oh and also:
Now obviously I should be posing my questions to said person but I was shocked out of my gourd. Stunned. This is a person who is supposed to be a close friend. Anyway, this was a great reminder to watch my own mouth and be careful what I say and to remember that people say stupid shit all the time and may not mean anything cruel by it…but still, I am allowed to be angry and therefore…onto the shit list it goes!
3. The employee of my husband’s who came in to work SICK! It’s been 14 + days and we’re still ok so phew! Social distancing works. It was scary there for a little while though. Every sneeze and sniffle, every cough and tickle edged up the anxiety.
4. Whatever it was that killed my nephew in March. He wasn’t even 22. I dont know how he died – I’m no contact with my first family under the guidance of mental health professionals.- but it was described as sudden and senseless. What an awful, awful thing.
5. The 8mm mass in my daughter in law’s BRAIN, that is not only messing up her life but which also comes with some very scary risks for removal. This girl isn’t even 30 and she’s already had to deal with so much in her life. She takes superb care of my granddaughter and she’s sweet and loving and fun. I know life isn’t fair and nobody deserves this shit but still, I’m gonna say it- She’s been through more than her fair share already.
6. People not skilled in listening and/or reading comprehension who just LOVE to shoot their mouth off. Stop. Slow down. Pay attention and then respond. I know we all do this sometimes. I do it! And I cringe every.single.time I realize my mistake, ha! I’m talking about the people who are not so self aware and regularly “communicate” this way.
7. My little pup who is coyote bait but insists upon being outside constantly now that the weather is warm. In and out. In and out. Guess who else gets to go in and out? In and out? Yeah…me. And it’s not like she does anything important while we’re out there! No pees, no poos. She barks at random things…eats grass…chases bugs. All the while I stand there supervising. She is driving me crazy and I think we’re going to have to build a higher fence just for her.
Alrighty! That felt good! I got the shitty things out of my head and I’m ready to move on toward the good. Here’s something to ponder in the meantime:
If there ever was a month for a shit list, it’s been this one. As of yesterday, my province has had 67 new cases of COVID 19, bringing our total to 486. Country wide, we’re at 4043 at the time of this writing, and 500,000 + the world over. These are just confirmed cases too. We’re not testing everyone so the real numbers are much, much higher. AND the horrifying thing is that its still early days for my country. We haven’t even seen the half of it.
Even with current events, my list is still pretty short. Actually scratch that, ha! In the writing of said list, I seem to have gone off a bit. Prepare yourself! Venting is a great stress relief and it seems I be stressin 😆
Happy Friday! And Happy Shit-Listing!
1. All circumstances that have led to a world wide pandemic.
2. My bread machine for living 11+ years and then choosing to die now.
3. The Epcor guy who left my latched gate completely wide open. Fucker.
4. People hoarding food and other supplies to sell at jacked up prices.
5. The grocery stores who allowed this ^to go on for WEEKS before doing anything about it and then had the nerve, the NERVE to blame ordinary shoppers for panic buying. Fuck you.
6. Anybody who is not taking this virus seriously and mocks those who are.
7. People who are scamming the government out of relief money. You will get caught, and I will laugh with joy and glee when you do.
8. A certain president of a neighbouring country. I don’t have enough brain cells to adequately describe my feelings concerning that one. Neighbours? I’m with you. ❤ I see you. ❤ I don’t know how to help you but I wish I did. ❤ And it all hurts my heart.
9. Winter. Please! For the love of all good things – GO AWAY!
10. The magpies for chasing away a pair of returning crows. You live here and benefit from me, 365 days a year. The least you can do is share your tree so I can make some new crow friends! There are enough peanuts to go around.
Alright. Now that that nonsense is out of my head I’m going for a nice walk- 2 metres away from everything! 🙂
Your turn. Who or what is on your March Shit List?
Best Book – I read 12 books this month and the best one out of the bunch was:
Mambo in Chinatown by Jean Kwok. It was just so sweet and wholesome without shying away from some tough topics. A nice read overall. ❤
Best YouTube Channel– Dr. Tracey Marks. Real insight and advice from a doctor. If you have a mental illness or know someone who does this is a great channel for inspiration, comfort and education. Dr. Marks talks about all sorts of things besides mental health stuff too. Basically her channel is about living your best life! There is something here for everyone.
It’s on Netflix and it’s so bad its good. The whole dealio with the show is these people are holed up in separate apartments, living out the game on The Circle social media platform. It’s one big popularity contest until the unlucky person of the week gets BLOCKED! Ha Ha Ha! Nobody meets in real life, (except for the blocked person who gets to meet one person before they leave! Which is like everybody’s worst nightmare! Can you imagine if the people you’ve blocked on the interweb came over to your house?! EEEK! ) ANYway, everything is done through social media and it’s just so wonderfully weird and…strangely heartwarming…and eye roll inducing! It’s great fun to watch. Think a mix of Big Brother and Catfish.
Hubs bought Carolyn and I cupcakes to celebrate her birthday in the other realm and they were excellent! He was so sweet to think of us that way and I was worried that I’d eat one and have to toss the rest because they were too sweet-being from the grocery store and all- BUT they were delicious! Not too sweet at all and moist and fresh. So thanks Save on Foods for a great cupcake!
Sweetest Moment– Me and Hubs on the couch. It’s 9pm. I’ve got a three week old infant against my chest and a sleeping two year old cuddled up against me. I sat there, heart close to bursting at all the good in my life. Wrapped up in two little humans and my partner of 28 years. Rich. I am rich I tell ya. ❤
Nicest Surprise – I woke up craving a Sausage and Egg McMuffin one morning. Hubs had to go in to work on a Saturday and I was hoping that he’s pick up my vibe and bring me one! Sure I could ask him to bring me one but I didn’t know how long he’d be and I didn’t want to be disappointed by his answer, ha, so I kept my mouth shut and sent him telepathic messages….which he GOT because he rolled in the door an hour later with my beloved sandwich, a hash brown and the best cup of coffee I’ve had in a long time! YAAAY!
Best Evening Out– We were treated to dinner and a hockey game by one of the companies my Hubs deals with. Usually, we’re just given tickets and we go off on our own but this time dinner reservations were made – Bucco Pizzeria– for four, myself and Hubs, the salesman and his wife and we enjoyed a fun dinner with them. I was worried it’d be awkward but my warm and goofy ways melted the ice pretty quick. We shared a lot of the same interests and these folks were decent humans. Then we went over the arena and sat in our excellent seats to watch the game with them. We were completely taken care of and catered to and it was just a fun and lovely time!
Best Lesson Learned – A person can have more than one purpose in life.
For some reason I’d gotten it into my head that I had to find the ONE THING that was my purpose. I’d do that and then…it would change and I would absolutely HATE myself because I thought I was a flaky human being. So with this thinking in mind, I’ve spent 35 years hating myself every time my purpose changed and evolved alongside an every changing, ever evolving life. Yikes! Enough of THAT nonsense – My current purpose of the moment- My Grands.
I got these in my Yum Box and they.are.incredible! If you like things like marzipan or Amaretto you’ll love these! Smooth and full of flavour. A decadent sweet treat ❤
Best Ted Talk:
Rita Wilson poses a great question and gives us a lot to think about!
Oh gosh there are so many good things I could add to this post but it has gone on long enough! Now its your turn: What are your February highlights?!
I wanted to call this The Hit List, as a companion to The Shit List because it rhymes buuuut I don’t know…Hit List makes me think of other things and I try to keep my brain out of those bad neighbourhoods, ha ha!
I was doing this last year but I fell out of the practice. Here I am again, ever optimistic.
Best of January:
Well number one, this adorable piece of my DNA:
Olivia Angel-Lael. (!!) She was 6lbs 14oz and hardly gave her Mum any trouble at all. Of course I saw her hours after she was born- I had her brother for safe keeping and we all trooped in for a visit right away – and I got to snuggle her again over the weekend. It’s hard to get a sense of who a newborn is but thus far she is very chill and doesn’t seem to mind her tornado two year old brother, as he bounces around all over her. OV loves her and often pauses his very important toddler business to stop and give her pets on the hands, tickles on the tummy and kisses on the head.
I’ve read 9 books this month, am at 7% of my reading goal, and this was the best one out of the bunch:
Olive, Again by Elizabeth Strout. Number two in a series…I think…there is one before this one -Olive Kitteridge- its up to the author if there will be a third- ANYWAY, it’s a great story about one woman seem from many different angles along with a few other intertwining storylines and its just so damn human. A good read that inspired me to go easy on myself and others.
Best catalyst: The FLU.
I know, crazy right?! The flu brought with it a gift. It forced me to listen to my body and take time to just be. To do nothing. I didn’t want to be a miserable lump of ick the whole time and in order to do that, I just had to accept that I was ill, unable to do much and just sit with what I had. Be that books, tv, YouTube, or my sick ass self. It allowed me to do these things without guilt or shame and even though I was NOT having a time, it wasn’t all that awful. I was grateful for what I did have! I enjoyed doing nothing. I enjoyed the rest. I enjoyed the simplicity of it all. Not only that, it peaked my curiosity and I went on to learn everything I could about the subject and came away with a real appreciation for… well…everything! Finally, and maybe most importantly I didn’t experience any of that 900 days of January nonsense. The month flew by for me, woot woot!
I drank a lot of tea this month – It was National Tea Drinking Month too!- and when my cheap kettle crapped out , I simply went back to the way I’d done it for 25 years before-boiled water on the stove in a pot- but I missed my kettle, even if it was crappy so when London Drugs had a sale, I treated myself to this. It’s glass. Yay! No more plastic leaching, ha ha. And isn’t that light so pretty?! I feel so indulgent, lol I’m still blowing my nose with toilet paper though. What is wrong with me?!
Best Game: June’s Journey
June’s Journey is a hidden objects game that takes you through stories as you move through each level or scene. It’s a fun little time waster that doesn’t leave you feeling like you’ve wasted time! Plus, it’s good for your brain and it’s full of stupid tropes you can laugh at.
Best Ted Talk:
How was YOUR January? What would be on your Best Of list?
I used to think that in order to be a sunshiny, sugar sweet kind of person, I had to avoid all things that were negative. Life quickly taught me that was an impossible task! And so I found myself obsessively hiding the ugly stuff in life. Or glossing it up with lies and excusing it with pseudo science and platitudes.
For the LONGEST time I thought there was something wrong with me!
Why aren’t any of these positive thoughts working on any of my problems!?!?!?!?!?
Then as I delved deeper in my practice and I learned that all humans suffer. That suffering is a fact of life and a shared experience for all 7 billion of us, I felt great relief but I was still stuck with all these negative feelings. What the hell do I do with them?!
Well, the first thing I do is feel them.
And then…I put them on my Shit List!
There is something therapeutic about acknowledging the negative and then letting it go.
Sometimes, it comes back. That’s fine. Onto the list again. A shit list is actually a great tool to have because it:
Gets the negativity out of your head.
Helps you uncover patterns and serves as a roadmap to your challenges.
Validates your feelings OR shows you when you’re being a dumbass. ( The power of print! )
You can put anything you want on your list. People, experiences, objects, forces of nature. Whatevs. It’s all appropriate. We’re just making note of things that caused us suffering so we can acknowledge the negative and then… let it go.
With all that in mind I bring you: January’s Shit List
1. Alberta’s current government.
2. The creeps who prowl my neighbourhood, destroying and stealing property they go.
3. Mooshum, the worst watch dog in the history of watch dogs.
4. The Flu, which not only got me but gave my 2 year old grandson a febrile seizure and tossed my 5 year old granddaughter into the hospital with pneumonia.
5. Carl’s Jr. who ignored us in the drive thru,leaving us to sit there for 5 minutes before we drove away. I was really craving a burger too. Grrr!
6. Wimpy cough candies. Why even bother making your product? Ricola, I’m looking at you.
7. Myself, for being a mindless, careless knitter and a clueless human. This is a whole post in itself.
8. Animal “rescues” who operate more like pet stores.
9. People who rain on your parade. Yes, Janice I know getting your finger pierced is probably am exercise in snagged fingers but LET ME HAVE MY THING! And Oh, I’m sure owning and operating my own business would be a lot of work, let me find that out for MYSELF instead of gracing me with your “expert” advice. Do you think the thought never occurred to me? What exactly is your point and what are you trying to prove?! It seems like any time I have an idea, share something cool on social media or make note of something unusual, there is always someone there to take a giant steamer on it. Get.out.of.here.with.your.negativity!
10. Advertising in Alberta: First, the phone message from The Brick – a large furniture store- who regularly calls to advertise their shit over the phone. This time, instead of the usual ” I’m so and so from The Brick!” in used car salesman voice the message was as such- ” Hi! How are you?!” long pause…as if the person were waiting for your response even though it’s most obviously a recorded message” Ha ha, just joking this is so and so from The Brick” Go Fuck Yourself with that stupid shit!
Then there’s this gem:
I don’t live anywhere close to this neighbourhood! WHy are they sending me this and what does that photo have to do with teeth?! I hate capitalism.
11. My left ovary which feels like it has a cyst that’s trying to burst.
12. Unripe sapodilla’s that pretend to be ripe according to all sources but when you cut into said fruit of lies and take a big old bite out of a fruit that cost you 4 whole dollars, it so astringent that you have to spit it out into the sink and rinse your mouth out over and over again to repair the damage.
There, that should do it. One rant for every month of the year, ha. I feel better already. How about you? What’s on your SHit List this January?
I love me some December ! ( Special thanks to melatonin for that! ) There is something satisfying about saying goodbye to another year, all the while enjoying food and friends and family. I love looking back on everything I’ve done/experienced and trying to glean as much as I can from the lot. Good and bad.
The problem has always been my memory. My normal aging brain, poor mental hygiene and seasonal depression tends to wipe away anything I’ve done before June. Boooo!
It’s so frustrating to look back and come up with so little.
Was I even alive? Ha ha.
This year, I’ve tried to combat the problem. Some of you may be interested in it too.
Grab some index cards:
Grab yourself a really good pen:
Label the card as such:
And then start recording, in point form any little daily tidbits you think you’ll want to remember a year from now. I go day by day, marking each new day with a bullet point. I don’t bother with actual dates unless something important happens, like a death or a birth ETC. And I’m brief -or I try to be. A day might look like this:
. Library. Wrote. Talked to Jig. Made an amazing dinner- insert recipe name here. Lazy evening online. Good day.
That sort of thing! It’s an accounting, not a journal.
I record things like the weather too, whether or not I went outside or stayed home. Did I see any cool birds? Meet any interesting people? See a beautiful sunrise? Go grocery shopping? I record the exciting and the ordinary. It’s totally up to you! Write down the things that appeal to YOU. Don’t think about it too much, just write!
And don’t worry if the first few weeks are a little lean. It takes awhile to make it a habit but in time you’ll find it’s easy enough to do.
I find it helpful to do it at the same time every day, and tie it with another habit so it’s easier to remember. If you forget and have to go back and do several days at a time, that’s ok too. My notes have lots of question marks where I can’t remember. They are a note of their own too! Soon, it’ll just be a regular part of you life. A scribble here, a note there. It all adds up. There’s no need to stress. Just be as consistent as you’re able throughout the year.
If you do this every week for the rest of the year, you’ll have a day in , day out account of what your life looks like at the end of the December!
I plan to enjoy my cards with a glass of cheer and then I’m thinking I may ritually shred them to make room for the new too 🙂
At any rate, index card life accounting is a cheap and easy way to give yourself a memory boost if you need it and a fun way to record your life, even if you don’t. I’ve been enjoying the daily ritual immensely!