F*ck Up Friday – Pea Shoot Smoothie.

Happy Friday!

Here’s a short but gross tip for you today…

A person might think pea shoots would taste AWESOME in a smoothie.

That person would be wrong. Pea shoots in a smoothie would be a mistake!

Why?

Well, pea shoots in a smoothie taste exactly like opening up a can of the cheapest store brand peas, cooking them in their can liquor for an hour and then whizzing them up with a banana and yogurt.

DIS-GUST-ING!

As gross in looks as it is in taste. Baby food is thy name.

So yeah…maybe don’t do that.

Love and squishy hugs!

F*ck Up Friday- Losing The Pause.

We haven’t had a Fuck Up Friday in awhile!

I’m just so perfect and never make mistakes I guess.

“snicker”

That’s a lie if there ever was one!

I have most definitely made mistakes, I just haven’t been too, too worried about them, which my friends is progress!

But I did fuck up recently, and I do think I should share because it could potentially help someone else.

When I was working at my very stressful job and living my very stressful life, I was meditating two times a day PLUS doing walking meditation for 50 mins every week day.

It barely made a dent in my anxiety but it gave me “the pause” . That space between feeling and thought. Thought and speech. Thought and action. It gave me a safe place, a second at a time to gather myself and realize that I was OK. That I was doing OK and that I was resilient and brave and all the rest.

Life improved. I quit that job. And I started slacking off. At first I’d miss a day of meditation. Then a few days. Then weeks. Then whole months would pass with no formal practice.

Sure, I was still practicing my checkins and doing my mantras and I’ve always used walks as meditiation. But it seems those thing were not enough!

I’ve recently noticed how quick I am to anger! Over little stupid things! I’m starting to get pretty vocal about it too…ranty. Which is fine for things like human rights and environmental issues and politics…but maybe not ok for Vagisil commercials… ha ha ha.

I have made a mistake! I lost my pause when I lost my meditation practice!

I have fucked up!

Having said that, I am grateful! Why? Because I was still a half assed meditator back when I was consistent. Sure, I did it A LOT but I did it out of need and desperation as opposed to knowledge and appreciation. Now I know for myself. I have first hand knowledge and experience behind me telling me WHY it’s important to have a consistent practice. I know the value of it and you can bet your booty, I wont be so lax with it in the future.

I might even buy one of those pillow things and do it properly, ha!

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Sooooo, if you have a practice…and you think it’s not working or you think it’s boring, or you think it’s OK to miss “just one day” please think of me ranting about feminine “hygiene” products and reconsider. You might not be able to see the full scope of all the positive benefits but they are there!

Did you have any major f*ck ups this week? This is a safe place to share them if you have!

F*ck Up Friday- Art

It’s been a while since I’ve made a major faux pas. My streak of good luck is over though, and now I have to leave the internet.

A lady I am friendly with, posted two paintings on a social media site, saying she wasn’t able to paint as good as this certain artist but she’d had a lot of fun trying to. I wasn’t aware of this particular artist but thought she’d made a good try and wanted to celebrate that. So in that spirit I commented.

Both pieces looked so simple and amateurish, so naturally I thought both pieces were her own attempts.

Ha Ha Ha!

That is where it all went horribly wrong. The piece I complimented as being “especially nice” not done by her at all but by the very artist she was trying to emulate. She’d put them both up side by side to compare and I had no clue, lol.

The lady set me straight, kindly, but still. I feel like a fool and now I have to delete ALL my accounts and leave the internet!

Oy!

If you need me, I’ll be under this rock over here.

All silliness aside, I am human. I can only operate my life with the information that I have. After the initial horror of my mistake wore off, I was able to laugh about my gaff and be kind to myself too. This isn’t the worst thing I’ve ever done, nobody died, my intentions were good and I’ve learned, yet again, that I won’t die from embarrassment. Even if it feels like it. Another thing, talking about mistakes makes me see them as they really are and takes away a lot of the cringe factor. So thanks for listening!

How has your week been? Have any embarrassing moments?

F*ck Up Friday * Should Have Ordered Take Out.

Happy Friday!

If you’re new here, Fuck Up Friday was born out of a need to cringe less and love myself more. Instead of being ashamed and afraid of my screw ups and mistakes, I thought it’d be fun to share them, with you. and encourage you to share with me so that we could all see that mistakes are a part of life. Sometimes they can even be funny and most likely, you, me, WE are not alone.

High on my Pickle Pizza success, I thought I’d whip up my own half-assed version of a Margherita pizza. I was SURE it was going to be amazing!

I smeared on the oil and pressed the garlic. I sliced the mozzarella and hand squished my garden fresh tomatoes. I took a photo:

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And then I popped it under the broiler and, went and did my hair.

Friends! You’re intelligent humans. You know what happens next!

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Behold. A Photographic F*ck Up!

ARG! I was so mad and yet not surprised because this is what happens when you leave stuff under the broiler. So, I cut it into slices, rolled em up and ate it anyway. It didn’t taste too bad, if you didn’t have to look it…

Have you had any cooking Oops this week? Any other mistakes? Do share, so I feel less lame! Kthanxbye!

F*ck Up Friday- Say No To Drugs, Kids.

Happy Friday Everyone!

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Welcome to Fuck Up Friday! The day where I share some horribly embarrassing mistake and encourage you to share yours, all in the name of togetherness!

Somehow though, I made it through the week unscathed! This doesn’t happen often, believe me. But when it does you can be sure someone, somewhere is picking up the slack.

My neighbour for instance.

At first my husband and I thought there had been a body found in the back alley. The 5-0 were crawling all over the neighbourhood in many different forms. Vans, trucks, unmarked SUVs, marked cruisers…the works! Two of them had parked themselves at the foot of our driveway as well as the next door neighbour’s but my many trips to take out the garbage, walk the dogs, check out the garden yielded no usable information and I couldn’t even make out what their focus of interest was.

Until my eagle eye husband saw one of their tactical units in a far neighbours yard.

Whaaaaaat?!

Determined this time to finally satisfy my snoopy mind, I went out back again with a box I dug out of the closet to set out as recycling, ha ha ha,  and spotted a kid standing out back. Aha!

With zero shame I asked her ” Hey, do you know what happened there?” and hit the jackpot!

This kid just blabs it all out. My hero!

She tells me she lives in the basement suite and the entire house was taken over by cops, via battering ram and tear gas at 3am, looking for drugs. According to this kid, she knows nothing, it’s the upstairs neighbour – who doesn’t even really live there. It’s a whole weird thing -who’s involved. They are currently hiding in the attic but don’t worry, nobody is in danger because there are so many cops and dude will be hauled out soon.

Okie dokie. Thanks for the info. That was too easy!

Drugs. I am not surprised.

Later, I’m standing in the window, eating my toast and sure enough, the 5-0 haul out some guy, make him stand in the backyard, handcuffed while they do…police things I guess, for probably thirty minutes. Finally, three marked cars pull up, the dude is placed in one of them and then they leave him there for another long ass time. The guy is YOUNG, twenties probably and I cant help but think about how his mother is going to feel when she finds out.

I know someone who was in the exact same scenario and yeah…mother’s of kids who do such things usually feel really, really bad about it. So do mother’s of kids with drug addictions. That would be me. I’m grateful the police are taking action, for my own reasons and feel sad for the other Mum. Parenting is hard, no matter what end you’re on.

The dude finally gets taken away, with a three car escort and life goes back to normal in my neighbourhood. What a thing to wake up to, hey? On the fuck up scale, operating in the drug trade is most definitely up there. You know, for those of us who don’t already intuit this.

So my day is set! I’m already off to a good start and I didn’t even have to do anything. How about you? What were your mistakes like this week?

 

F*ck Up Friday: Uno, Dos, Tres.

Oh what a week!

Welcome to Fuck Up Friday! The day where I encourage everyone to share a mistake or two in the interest of togetherness and…healing? Yeah. Healing! You are not alone! Everybody messes up. It’s all OK!

How have ya been? Are you unscathed or have you spend some time wishing the floor would open up and swallow you?

I’ve had two minor mishaps and one that brought out a full on cringe.

  1. I forgot about my twenty-four year wedding anniversary until Facebook memories reminded me…AFTER my husband had left for work. We are pretty low-key about stuff like this but I still felt bad. My big plan/recovery was to take him out for ice cream that evening. (We’d already bought each other gifts) His big plan was to bring me home roses and take me out for dinner. It worked out in the end BUT I was horrified that I’d forgotten. What if I hadn’t gone on Facebook that day? I fear I would not have remembered on my own!
  2.  I forgot to take my first dose of a vaccine even though I spent time reading how to prepare said dose from a sheet of paper that clearly states the day I’m supposed to take the vaccine on. Brain? Brain? Where’d ya go?
  3. I met a really nice lady at the bus stop who I recognized but couldn’t place entirely. I expressed surprised that she lived near me and asked her where…only to realize…she was my neighbour. So now I have to move. It’s the only solution to that problem. Ha! I played it off like I was just teasing, being silly and we had a really nice conversation. She was friendly, warm and gracious. I don’t think I did any permanent damage. Why brain? Whyyyyyy?! Its done this to me before too. I seem to have problems placing people when I meet them outside of where I normally would. Isn’t that a mental condition? I think I read that somewhere. Later that morning, I met up with the nurse version of myself, awkward, sweet and silly. I felt nothing but affection for her and so I surmised that maybe my neighbour felt that way about me too. She was certainly lovely when we left one another, touching my arm to say goodbye. One can hope!

Your turn! What mistakes have you made this week? Big, small: I want to hear them all!

Oops!

I’ve been thinking about mistakes a lot today because guess what??

I just made a BIG one.

One I’m not normally prone to do. One that is going to involve talking about said mistake-rather than sweeping it under the rug – and apologizing to a friend. Talk about humbling! And cringey. And just…gross!

I am a human, just like the rest of you. Who knew?

I’ve been denying this for so long, trying my best to a saint but alas the truth remains: I am flawed.

I guess since I’m going to start accepting this truth I may as well open up to the fact that us humans make mistakes every day. Big ones, small ones, inconsequential ones and catastrophic ones.

Ahhhh!  I know right? Horrifying. Mistakes are not just a once in a blue moon kinda thing.

We`re all out here in the world, trying our best to be happy. Doing the things we think will make that so and fucking up all over the place anyway.

Just when I think I’m wise or have great integrity, just when I think to myself-Wow Lady, you finally do have it all together. High five YOU!- Im quickly shown the exact opposite and am thrown back to square one.

I like to think that even with my mistakes, I’m never really going to make a super BIG one . Like cause permanent or fatal harm to anyone or myself. I like to think that somehow as the years slip by all my mistakes and the lessons learned, are going to accumulate into this vast fount of wisdom until the mistakes are less and less and they build a shrine for me upon my death. Ha.

But then I remember the 75-year-old man who was just sentenced to 10 years in prison for killing his son-in-law. Or the 60-year-old woman charged with attempted murder after she drove over her mother-twice and yeah…that tune changes real quick!

I do know that I feel better reading about other people’s mistakes not just because it makes me feel smug but because it makes me feel less alone. I grew up petrified of making a mistake, forever thinking my mistakes made me flawed beyond repair. Never knowing mistakes are a normal, unavoidable , even vital part of the human condition. In the past, the openness of others has reiterated for me the very thing I’ve been trying to drill in my head for years: Mistakes are a part of being alive. Accept when you make one. Learn from it and then move the fuck on.

On that charming note I bring you, the even more charming:

Fuck Up Friday

A feature in which I will share something I’ve done that made me cringe at myself in hopes that it helps someone, somewhere. I hope that you, if you feel safe or feel you need to get something out in the open, will share a mistake too.

Go Play in Traffic

Soooooo, yesterday my friend I were out on a date. We had lunch at the High Level Diner here in Edmonton and then we went to the Cat Café on Whyte Ave. It was most fun and relaxing. Lots of chatting and laughing. At lunch we were talking about something scary my doctor had said after doing a brain function test on me- Are you sure you haven’t had a stroke?- and I had been saying that while yes she freaked me out, my blood pressure was good, I was healthy, yadda yadda yadda, I had just as much of a chance dying in traffic as I did via a stroke-this is Edmonton after all…so probably more. I should have kept my mouth shut!

Anyway, chat chat chat. Laugh laugh laugh. We/re standing at a cross walk waiting for our turn to go and I hear the audible signal so I step off and away we go! Only to get halfway across the fricking intersection and see that we are WALKING INTO TRAFFIC!

We don’t have the right of way! The cars are all zooming through the light and there we are trotting cluelessly toward them. The thing is? Not one of them honked their horns at us. It didn’t even look like they knew we were there!

I grabbed my friend’s arm and dragged her back to the sidewalk, and its a good thing I did because she was TEXTING and had no idea WHAT was going on.

I walked into traffic. I almost got myself killed or seriously injured by walking into traffic. At 45 years old. After years of safely getting myself from point a to point b.

OY!

We stood there nervously laughing, embarrassed as all hell and grateful to be OK. My friend said we shouldn’t be allowed outside unsupervised anymore, ha ha ha, like we were kids or something. But then I realised something…my friend is the same age as MY oldest child. Shes 25, sure. I’m 20 years older.  She’s an adult but I’m the adultier adult.

Oh the agony!

Lessons learned:

Pay Attention!

Age and experience do not equal intelligence.

And that is my weekly shame.

What’s made you cringe at yourself this week?