The world is a Dumpster Fire at the moment and it’s been really getting to me. I am an anxious, pissed off, exhausted mess.
With yesterday’s energy hangover from four days with my squishy faced boy, it was especially bad. Had the world been hit by an asteroid, I would have been happy to go 🙂 but today after some rest and self care, I seem to be back to my normal self.
(The next time you’re “in a mood” remember that rest, food, water and self love are a curative thing and take care of yourself before you write yourself and the whole word off ❤ )
I’m still angry, tired and scared but with my energy stores refueled I know I can get through it all. Besides, all is impermanent.
Thank Goddess for that! Because see above re: Dumpster Fire.
( I am SO curious about HOW though! Will people finally come to their senses soon? Natural progression of our world? War? Civil uprising of everyone hurt by this racist system ? Civil uprising of *PWU and their allies? Gaia finally has enough and shakes us all off? )
*People with Uteri
I really, really, REALLY, REALLY,REALLY, hope this is all just the final push before we evolve into a better, more enlightened group of humans but I just don’t know and I can’t control any of it.
It would be easy to say I’m just focussing on the negative but holy hell, there is a LOT if negative shit happening! I may not be able to control it but I CAN control myself -mostly- and so I’ve joined the Pro-Life Coalition and a few underground networks working to help people with uteruses get the medical care they need. I’m very busy online being a strong voice for choice, body autonomy and all the rest too.
I’m educating myself better on racism and stopping to observe police interactions with POC whenever I come across them, and I’m calling out hatred, discrimination and injustice when I see it too. People think Canada is a safe place with very little racism…yeah…NO! It’s always been there, hidden under our polite veneer. I don’t know whether to thank the Orange Asshat for inspiring such openness or revile him as usual. I guess it’s “easier” to fight when it’s out in the open but it’s awful all the same.
I’m doing my small part to be a responsible citizen of the Earth and not damage our natural mother any further. Plastic! UGH! We are absolutely surrounded by it! It all just makes me want to cry.
I call out and educate where I can about all kinds of different things -take your pick, there are many to choose from!
I’m practicing mindfulness and open friendly compassion for all. Especially those who are hurting others. Even though I’d really like to punch them straight in the fucking teeth. ( Just in case you think I’m some sort of saintly human…)
I know that while none of this is enough to change this fucked up situation we’re in, if each of us DOES SOMETHING, the collective CAN and WILL affect positive change.
I can’t sit by and watch the world burn. I can’t sit by and watch people suffer.
It’s very tempting to turn it all off. Avoid all media. Stop talking to my fellow humans. It’s OH SO TEMPTING to switch myself into Super-Duper Positive Lael, the being I turn into during times of stress who ignores all the badstuff and lies to herself about what she’s witnessing and feeling. Or I could move myself out into the middle of fucking nowhere and go off grid…or hey invent a magic potion that enables me to go to sleep and wake up when this is all over.
What a luxury those choices would be!
But alas, if we all did that, those fuckers , ahem, hurting people who are hurting others would win and we can’t have that. I WON’T have that! Onward I go. I just need to be all dramatic about it first ❤
If you need to take a break from it all , take that break! If you need to scream for an hour in a field…SCREAM! If you need to do nothing but blast your favourite music and pull weeds furiously, do that!
Let’s just make sure we meet back here in a little bit and regroup 🙂
Happy Monday! It’s a long weekend here and I am “enjoying” this little one:
I say “enjoying” because after FOUR WHOLE DAYS with a 14 month old, it’s actually “enduring” ha! Toddlers are a lot of work! How did I ever have my own? How do any of us? Even my bestie- a child care PROFESSIONAL- is a little in awe of us. She thinks we’re brave…
He goes home today and while his current nickname is The Terrorist, he’s been most excellent for someone with such high needs. He’s napping now so I can say that ;P I know five seconds after he leaves I’ll miss him <3. And how lucky am I to have full and easy access to him? Pretty damn lucky!
I bought a flat of strawberries on Friday. I froze them all up -made some jam too!- and am thinking about all the yummy things I’m going to make with them:
I love me a man who swears and this human is a particularly fine one 🙂
My birds are so hilariously bold now! The Crow visits me every so often and calls to me to come out. I am very well trained! The Blue Jays sit in the tree and stare in at me, if they cant find me in one room, they fly to another window and the Magpies seem pretty content to just ignore me. I bought some seed for the little birds so we’ll see how they react. As it is now they like to take me out at the knee in the yard by flying straight past me as I walk by…little asses! So far no Mockingbirds though 😛
I hope your Monday is going well and if it’s not I hope it goes quickly for you so you can start fresh on Tuesday!
You know when you’re grocery shopping and you just want to get the job done so you’re doing your thing but, there are people casually strolling through the aisles looking at everything and blocking you at every effing turn?
This place is a small chain of locally owned- Edmonton, AB- and operated grocery stores that sell Italian products AND…they carry stuff from around the world.
It’s the coolest place ever. I almost never go unless I have a good stack of bills because I will BUY ALL THE THINGS and I don’t want lack of cash to limit any of my choices. There are so many choices! They have an amazing deli, bakery and café. They bring in locally sourced items and have specials and deals and events and are active in the community.
Prices are reasonable, products are interesting and of quality, service is friendly and efficient. It’s basically one of my favourite places. Ever!
I’ve been a fan for almost 9 years and while we usually grab sandwiches from the café to go, we’ve never actually ordered a full meal and sat down for it.
We – the Hubs and I -did just that on a cold day in February.
It was the daily special and if memory serves me, it was only 9.98. That golden bowl of loveliness was Chicken & Rice and that deceptively looking simple sandwich was … I can’t remember. Sorry! It had sausage, fresh mozzarella , artichokes, a pepper spread … (CALABRESE! That’s the name of the sandwich. Calabrese! ) and lettuce. I could eat 900 of those things…
The soup was thick with rice, veggies and real chicken. The broth was rich and fragrant with just enough seasoning to be satisfyingly salty but not overdone. It was juuuust right. The sandwich had a nice mix of creamy, crunchy, salty, smooth, spiciness that seems to get tastier and tastier with each bite. I could have done without the lettuce. I found it added nothing really and was annoying to bite through. This is probably a personal thing! Some people like it, some people don’t … I couldn’t be bothered to pull it out though so it obviously wasn’t horrible.
ANYhoo, it was a great meal at an affordable price in a busy little neighbourhood café . It would benefit your stomach and soul to stop in sometime. And if you just want to shop, I promise to try and be more mindful of my surroundings!
WOW, what an event! There were so many quality artisans selling their wares and I bought some nice things for Lune- I’ll showcase them as I open them soon – I had a great time, chatting with the vendors and popping in and out of the stalls, in awe of all the talent in this world.
THAT was a whole THING! What an ending…yikes! The Hubs and I went out for dessert and spent the night watching Netflix.
And then on Sunday, I enjoyed a lazy morning , drinking coffee and playing online Mahjong, and spent the afternoon, weeding, interspersed with a grandbaby visit! ❤ I saw two worms *shudder AND my asparagus is poking up! Woot Woot! I thought it’d never grow. It had me worried… but worry no more!
Today, I’ll be out weeding again and I can’t wait! A day spent outside just feels so good. Like a day fully lived.
Here are our Monday Memes:
I’m a little late with this one but still…it has me laughing like a lunatic!
This one appeals to the introvert in me :
And lastly, some silly fun!
I’m looking forward to the rest of the week. I’ve got an event to attend with friends and our weather is supposed to start warming up too. Maybe I’ll see my own worker bees 🙂
I have been nominated for the Sunshine Blogger Award, by Allan at: PhotoBlography. This award is peer recognition for bloggers that inspire positivity and joy.
It’s super de duper nice to be recognized as such!
Thanks again, Allan. It was really fun and I’m touched that you thought of me.
Allan takes the most beautiful photographs of all the interesting places he goes and the fun stuff he gets up to. He writes poems too and has a great sense of humour! Plus, he’s a kind and decent human being. Do yourself a favour and go check him out!
Here is how this all works:
Thank the blogger and provide a link to their site.
Put Award logo on your blog.
Answer 11 questions.
Nominate 11 other bloggers.
Give them your 11 questions and enjoy!
Allan’s questions-which were his nominator’s questions too- and my answers:
If you knew you would die tomorrow, except crying or whatsoever, what you would do or say? It would all depend on the circumstance of my death. Am I to fall suddenly incapacitated and require a soft surface for which to lay upon, because I am unable to do much? In that case, I’d gather my family and friends all around me as I lay on a bed overlooking the front window and eat and drink all the things, and laugh and talk and listen to music before I shooed everyone off so I could write in my journal and write notes to my loved ones and then, I would go to sleep, curious about what was still to come….
If, I was able to keep my vigor, I would head out into the wild for a hike, friends and family included. We’d stop for meals and lounging and then when I grew weary, I’d lay myself down and listen to the life around me, say my goodbyes and then meditate until I died, fell asleep or both 🙂
This is such a great question because it brings up a dilemma for me. I don’t want to be writing out notes while I’m dying! Maybe that’s something I need to do now…this is good Death Doula stuff!
Why do you like blogging?
Blogging is an outlet for my mind. A way to express myself creatively with words. I enjoy meeting new people, from the great vastness of our world. I enjoy their different views of the world. I soak up a lot of inspiration and wisdom. I learn about new things. I am insanely curious about everything. Blogging allows me to quench that in a safe, socially acceptable nosey way 😉
If you had to give up something in your life, what would it be?
Certainly not this song…
Do you believe in love?
I AM love. YOU are LOVE. So, yes. I do. I think our society focuses on romantic love waaaaay to much, often to our own detriment. If I had to do it all over again, I’d work on loving myself first, from a young age and then worry about the rest of it all later, if at all. It’d be really, REALLY nice if we would love our EARTH and her creatures with a respectful fervent devotion, too.
If you won the lottery today, what’s the first thing you do?
Pee my pants! Ha Ha. Seriously I would probably pace nervously, call the husband and then freak out until the money was safely in my bank account. Once I calmed down, I would book a trip somewhere so I could just be and allow the wisdom to come to me about what to do and then, using that wisdom I’d set up my life, and my family. I know for certain what I would buy first, which I think is really what this questions asks. I would buy a small house on a plot of land (big enough to sustain a living) by the ocean, in my name and my name only. I would then set up a trust to ensure there is always money to maintain said house and I would bequeath it down the line to the daughter’s in my family. It will be a safe haven for my female ancestors, forever more.
Do you forgive a betrayal or adultery if you’re married?
Ha! Been there. Done that. Or rather, doing that. I could write a book on this. And I may one day, my journals tell a tale, yikes. So, it’s not adultery I dealt with but it was a betrayal. I often say I sometimes WISH it had been adultery because at least then I’d know how to deal with that. I have a very strong boundary against such things.
Anyway, my husband had a mental break and he did some things that were very hurtful. Because the catalyst of his actions were a mental break, and because up until then he had never been anything but an excellent husband, I decided with the encouragement and help of a trained professional ( which I HIGHLY recommend) to stick it out and see if this 20+ year marriage could be saved.
I’m STILL not sure how I feel about the whole thing, but I often say this: It’s not for the faint of heart.
And as I’m still in the midst of things, I really feel like I’m unable to say anything about the subject with any wisdom or authority. Some days I soar, some days I really struggle.
I’m not unhappy. I’m not suffering. I’m living my life, mostly with joy, in the now, and taking it day by day. I believe in second chances. I don’t do thirds. So, to answer the question, I think it all depends on the circumstances, and it’s an ongoing, ever changing process that I hope none of you ever have to go through or put anyone else through either! ❤
Tell me why someone should be close to you or be friends with you? (even if you don’t give a shit)
If I was to sell myself to people I would say that I am the kind of person who wont give up on you, even when things get hard. I’m generally a bright light. I am fiercely protective and encouraging. You will not be ALLOWED to continuously talk shit about yourself in my presence 🙂 ❤ I bring a sense of whimsy and fun, I’m curious about everything and game for anything. I will support all your loves and interests and be as excited for them as you are AND I’m a great baker/cook. So…you’ll eat well!
What you really love to read, that you can’t stop or ever feel bored?
Memoirs and recipe books! I’m actually reading a book right now, that’s a memoir AND a recipe book! (Picnic in Provence. A Memoir with Recipes. Elizabeth Bard ) I’ve always loved reading about the lives of other humans. They don’t need to famous or known for anything, I love them all the same. Sometimes, the more ordinary the better because here’s the thing; THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS ORDINARY! Every.single.person out there has a unique story to tell. I enjoy learning what that unique thing is. As for cookbooks: I like to eat!
What makes you happy?
All the things. Too many to accurately recount here. Today it’s:
The thought of my squishy Hot Cross Bun I plan to have with lunch. Lune. Trips. Pie. Bird song. Feeling secure. Being inside on a blustery day. Solving a challenging problem.
Have you ever read a blog post that had a great impact on you?
Oh yes. I read those all the time. I think every blog post I read has an impact on me. Even if it doesn’t seem so at the time, who knows where it may lead me in the future?
Describe the person of your dreams, physically and mentally / emotionally.
Ha Ha Ha! Oh boy.
I don’t think such a being exists outside of oneself. Which yes, I guess that’s why we call them a “person of your dreams” because they don’t exist but still…I’m loathe to go there. I KNOW it’s only fantasy but it just seems so unfair, to both myself and other humans. Yes, I realize I’m putting waaay too much thought into this, ha! Were I forced at gunpoint to choose, I’d say any goofy, big old dog! Humans are, well … human. I just can’t think of them as anything but.
That was fun! I love giving my brain a good stir!
Any of you out there who wishes to play along! There is no way I could only choose eleven of you. You ALL inspire positivity and joy, otherwise I wouldn’t have you in my life! ❤ ❤
Here are your questions. Some are the same, some are different. You may choose to use them as you wish.
If you knew you would die tomorrow, how would you proceed with the rest of your life?
What do you think about pineapple on pizza?
Why do you like blogging?
What do you wish to have done with your body when you die? Why?
Would you forgive a betrayal or adultery in your romatic relationship?
Who, besides your own self, is your favourite person,dead, alive, known to you or otherwise and why?
What is your first memory as a child?
What is one thing you thought you couldn’t do but did and made yourself proud?
When are you most content?
Have you travelled? Where?
What’s the strangest thing you’ve ever eaten?
Link back to me, if you chose to play. This Nosey Parker wants to see your responses!
Thanks for reading! Happy Friday and enjoy the hell out of your weekend!
Hello May! I should note that is does NOT look like this photo in Edmonton as I type this! No, no. It’s currently snowing sideways and everything is covered in snow. It’s all OK because it’ll melt quickly and we’ll be back to green grass and better days 🙂
Why are the best months flying by? WHYYYYYYYY?! The days of nice weather are so fleeting here, these are the months when I wouldn’t mind it if the days dragged on the way they do in January.
Look at me, hey? No wonder I suffer so in September. I’m already mourning the loss of days that haven’t even happened yet.
I was super, super busy with all kinds of fun stuff last month. Visits with friends, walks in the nicer weather, lots of reading and Netflixing. I’ve been watching stuff on YouTube, too. I’ve been living vicariously through all the Through Hikers. I want to hike the Pacific Crest Trail SO BAD. Nobody I know like hiking much though and I’m not sure I want to do it alone. We shall see. It’s getting to be one of those things that’s starting to “bug” me. The call has become rather insistent.
This is a pretty random Best Of:
Best Thing That Completely Took Over My Life– Blogging From A-Z Challenge! I met the most interesting humans and it was cool to have reading and writing be the main focus of my life most days. Stay tuned for a follow up post regarding the experience in greater detail.
Best Book– I read 18 books this month. I’ve reached something like 47% of my Reading Challenge goal. Fire! (That’s what the cool kids are saying these days 😉 ) Of these books, 7 really stand out for me. They are:
Best Movie– The African Doctor. Oh my heart! This was a great story. It’s on Netflix. In French, with subtitles. I always feel so cultured when I watch movies with sub titles, heh…I also watched Brene Brown: The Call To Courage An excellent watch! I was nodding and crying and bolstered throughout 🙂
Best TV Show– Schitt’s Creek. I am IN LOVE with this series. It’s Canadian. It’s clever and funny and silly and ridiculous and heart warming and progressive and modern and…oh it’s ALL THE THINGS. Watch it!
Best Meal– Taste wise, this would have to be a Teen Burger from A&W, with onion rings and a root beer. Nothing beats that. For my heart, that would have been my 21 year old daughter’s birthday party, with my son in law and my scrumptious grandson.
Best Time Outdoors– I gave my Mountain Ash a haircut. It was the first time I’d been out doing yard work and I don’t know…it was kinda magical. At the risk of sounding like a total nut (oh wait. I’ve already established that ) I thanked my tree for her leafy coverage and listened to her for guidance as I trimmed her up. The wind was blowing, the sun was shining, the birds were singing…I was connected to the Earth.
Best Naughty Act– I’ve been feeding the birds, Crows in particular but of course the other big birds have been getting in on the action too. The Magpies and Jays. My goal is to develop a relationship with the Crows in my neighbourhood because Crows are cool. I’m gaining an appreciation for the Magpies who seem pretty intelligent too. They’ve started talking to me and while I’ve seen crows do that ALL the time, it’s a first for me with Magpies. Jays seem to be squawky and … I don’t even know. I don’t have a read on them yet!
I had a Raven come by just yesterday! A RAVEN! Squeeee! I was so surprised because while Ravens are my FAVOURITE I wasn’t holding out any hope to get THAT lucky. But lucky I was. It flew straight into the yard in front of me but was nervous of Claudette and settled on the fence instead. I tossed a peanut into my garage roof and it grabbed that and sat and yapped at me before flying off when a car came by. It came back later, sitting on my neighbour’s roof calling for more but I resisted the urge. I don’t want to turn them into pests! I was so struck by how much MORE they are compared to the other birds. Bigger, smarter, more personable. And that’s saying something because I find the Crows and Magpies to be marvellous creatures. I went to bed happy for the experience. What a gift!
Best Hot Drink– OK, hear me out. 7-11’s Spiced Chai Latte. I know, I know! BUT you have to just try it. It costs two bucks, and its spicy! One note mostly, cinnamon but still, it actually has some spice to it. ( I rarely get a good cup of spiced chai in this western world) It’s rich and creamy too, without being oily -Tim Horton’s I’m looking at you and your hot chocolate- and it comes out of the dispenser HOT! I pay 5 whole dollars or more for a drink at Starbucks and even after I ask for it extra, EXTRA hot, I still get something barely warm. Booooo!!! All in all, a quality product for a great price. 7-11 for the win!
So May! I’m looking forward to Mother’s Day and my son’s birthday. I’m excited about planting my garden and all the plants and life that is going to start popping up. I saw a bee the other day! And I’ve seen a ton of butterflies. My ants are very busy in my front yard and the other day a bird dropped a GIGANTIC worm on my deck *shudder. I’m just waiting on baby bunnies, dandelions and bumblebees.
OH! And it’s one month until Lune, my birthday month. Shit, I’d better start preparing for that! I have like, no presents and I need 30 of them! If you have a birthday coming up, I highly recommend you celebrate ALL MONTH LONG too. I think the older one gets, the more important birthdays become. Plus, one of my personal mottos is : Celebrate Everything. So there!