When my friend Carolyn and I bought a pack of cupcakes at a local bakery here in Edmonton, I didn’t know just how special those fun sized, tasty, cheerful little things would become to me.
At the time my friend was not quite a year into life with metastatic breast cancer. She’d given up sugar as a tool to help her live longer but for this special occasion – she’d driven by herself from Washington to Edmonton to visit me- Carolyn was going to enjoy herself a treat!
And enjoy them we did. They were rich and creamy, well made and delicious. I wished my friend could have more than just one but I was still glad we got to enjoy a treat together. We loved our sweets!
Six years later, Carolyn was dead. The cancer spreading to her bones and turning her into -in her words- “cancer soup”.
The first thing I felt compelled to do was bake her some cupcakes.
The urge came out of nowhere and it was strong. I felt almost manic as I quickly gathered up the ingredients from the dusty corners of my kitchen and set to work.
I wanted my friend to have her cupcakes, damnit! I wanted her to enjoy the sugar and enjoy the fats and enjoy the fun. I wanted her to be able to eat just one more. I hoped that wherever she was, she could eat as many cupcakes as she wanted. And if she couldn’t…well then I’d eat them here on Earth in her honour.
And that’s what I’ve been doing. Cupcakes, have become a thing. I think of her every time I see one. My Hubs buys them for me in memory of our friendship. You can be sure I’m going to make them again every year in her memory too!
It’s silly and fun and beautiful and highly personal. I did not know that a simple treat would become such an important factor in my life.