A Sad Goodbye.


Carolyn was diagnosed with breast cancer, almost four years ago.

At first she was told it was stage two and most likely completely curable.

Two months after that, it was not.

The cancer jumped straight to stage four and all treatment was stopped to be replaced with something of a more palliative nature.

It all seemed good at first. Sure, there is no other stage past four but some people live years with metastatic breast cancer. Surely that’s how it would be for her!

And it was, mostly, with little squibbles here and there, until the cancer got into her bones, ate away her spine and required surgery to literally shore her up with rods and cement. That was in the late Spring of this year.

My darling friend Carolyn, died yesterday.

I read the news this morning and was hit instantly by the heavy tiredness of grief. I am so sad she’s not of this earth anymore and I’m so sad for her family.

I’m glad she’s been released from all her suffering. May she be safe in the arms of her ancestors.

I met Carolyn, many years ago, through another blog I had at the time. I cant even remember when but I’m pretty sure it was over ten years ago!

We hit it off straight away and had a great internet friendship for the longest time, until I finally went to meet her in real life one day.

I went, by myself, to a stranger’s house, in a whole other country.


And had the greatest time! Her family treated me like gold and I was lucky to return the favour a year or two later.

Carolyn had the greatest laugh. Big and booming.

She smiled and laughed, a lot.

She was welcoming . So welcoming she invited a stranger to her home. Ha Ha!

She could make you feel safe and reassured and complete in who you were. She accepted every part of who a person was.

She was silly, goofy and funny as hell.

Carolyn was sharp and quick and clever and witty.

She was WISE. Oh wow was she ever wise. She was patient and kind and understanding and tolerant too.

She loved her kids and she loved her grandkids. Those girls look just like her 🙂 Carolyn had pretty blonde hair, curly! And the most amazing blue eyes.

She loved animals too and was owned by many a cat and dog. When I went for my internet stranger sleepover we slept on her deck, in a tent, with her cats and wee little dogs 🙂

People everywhere just loved her, she was a rock to many of us. She was loyal and supportive. She had integrity.

For almost four years Carolyn fought her illness bravely and with cheer most of the time. She was able to change her diet completely in her quest to live longer for her family, even though she was a sugar fiend, just like me 🙂 I hope, wherever she is now, she’s having herself some cake! I’m baking cupcakes today in her honour ❤ Butter, sugar, fat. LOVE.

She was also authentic and honest about it all, too. She told me cancer was a mind fuck and that dying really fucking hurt.

Oh it all breaks the heart.

Hug your loved ones then get out there and live the heck out of your life.

17 thoughts on “A Sad Goodbye.

  1. I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. She sounds wonderful and I know you are hurting but she is at peace. December 3 marks the one year anniversary of my hubby’s sudden death from a brain aneurysm and I feel like it was last week. That is the only good thing about his death, that he did not linger and suffer, and for that I am grateful.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sorry to hear about the loss of your friend Lael. Your tribute ensures that Carolyn will not be forgotten. The sad thing is that we all seem to be entering a time of weddings and funerals. After losing a dear friend and my brother-in-law this year, I, for one, am ready for some weddings. All the best. Allan

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: Musing, thanks to RabBits… | The Project: Me by Judy

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