I have a job interview today for a position in my field at a place of higher learning.
When I applied for the job I was most interested. The work is something I care deeply about, the hours are part time, reasonable and convenient. The wage is decent and the job is honourable.
Then I was called for an interview.
CUE THE FREAKING OUT!
Ha Ha Ha!
“I’m not educated enough. I’ve never worked with adults. Maybe I don’t want to travel ALL that way to work. I’m not even really an adult myself. I’m too quirky. I’m not professional enough. I only want the job because of ego. “
“THEY’LL SEE RIGHT THROUGH ME!”
Such is my anxious mind 🙂
I sat with the feelings as my mind did it’s thing. I let the thoughts come and go, I let the feelings sit like a rock in my throat and pound out of my chest. I decided I would not address anything until it all settled and I was calm.
Once that happened – it took ALL NIGHT LONG- I realized that I would regret not trying for the position, a position that in my non anxious state I was REALLY interested in, and called the person back to arrange for an interview and it all went well and fine. I didn’t embarrass myself. I sounded like a normal, capable human being. There was nothing to see through because I was my self.
But oh Good Goddess, what a process to get to that point.
All this, for a job interview! 🙂
Such is life with an over active nervous system!
I’m sharing this with you because I want to show the people who need to see this, how an anxious brain works AND how you can overcome that anxiety and be OK.
The thoughts came through me rapidly, one after the other after the other. I stopped to listen to them at first but then quickly realized a. they were just thoughts and they were neither true nor false b. there were too many of them to adequately address them all so it was better to let them float on by until they stopped.
And they did. And I was able to get clear and make a decision based in truth and wisdom.
All this, thanks to meditation. Meditating daily, gives me the pause in life to see through the anxious thoughts and feelings and allows my own wisdom and guidance to kick in. Without that pause, without that little gap in between the panic, my inner compass would not have had its say and I would have probably ignored the call and been angry with myself till the end of time, wondering about what could have been.
That would have been most unkind of me. I owe it to myself to try.
So, there is hope my friends! There is hope.
Sitting there after my conversation with the interviewer, I was struck by how calm I was. I wasn’t anxious or afraid at all, and yet the story I was telling myself was that I was scared. But upon examination, I was excited and curious. Once again, the anxiety lied like it always does.
That is lesson number two. Anxiety- and depression- lie.
As for me, I’ll probably have another freak out before the interview. And I’ll be fine, as I always am.
I’m just very grateful to be even chosen to interview for this position. It is a big deal! And an honour to be considered. No matter what happens, I feel like I’ve won already 🙂
What has your experience with anxiety been like? Can you share something that has helped you? What advice would you give to a nervous interviewee?